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Parenting in the age of cyber blackmail, abuse

Parenting
Parenting in the age of cyber blackmail, abuse
 Parenting in the age of cyber blackmail, abuse (Photo: iStock)

When a parent like Purity Kendi, a mother of seven, fell victim to an online love scam, it highlighted a harsh reality.

That sextortion, the blackmail of victims through intimate content, is rising in Kenya. Families, adults, and teens alike are at risk.

Here are expert tips on what parents need to know to protect themselves and their children:

Understand the risk: Predators rarely start with threats. They build trust through charm, empathy, or small financial gestures, then request intimate photos or videos. Once trust is established, they threaten to leak the content unless the victim complies.

“By the time threats begin, the victim is emotionally entangled,” says Lydia Nanjala, a digital rights advocate at Usikimye.

Recognise the warning signs: Look out for rapid declarations of love or trust. Requests for private photos framed as “our secret.” Refusal to meet in person, but constant online communication, sudden demands for money or personal information. If it feels rushed, secretive, or too good to be true, it probably is.

Talk about it at home: Open conversations are critical. Teach children and teens that online affection can be deceptive and that their worth is never tied to a picture or promise.

Parents should also model honesty about their digital lives. Encourage children to report any uncomfortable online interactions without fear of punishment.

Know the law and seek help: Kenya’s Computer Misuse and Cybercrimes Act (2018) criminalises sharing private content without consent. Victims should report cases to the DCI Cybercrime Unit or local police.

Support is also available through: Usikimye – psychosocial and legal support; Childline Kenya (toll-free helpline – 116) for minors or family distress; and National KE-CIRT/CC (Kenya Computer Incident Response Team/Coordination Centre – 719), Kenya’s cybersecurity response centre.

Keep evidence such as screenshots, messages, and transactions to aid investigations.

Healing and recovery: Shame often silences victims, but recovery is possible through counselling, support networks, and self-forgiveness. Communities, schools, women’s groups, and churches can play a vital role in restoring dignity.

Lead by example: Think before sharing personal content, and avoid oversharing children’s images online.

Model healthy digital relationships: Teach emotional, physical, and online boundaries.

Digital literacy is emotional literacy: Know how to navigate screens safely while preserving human dignity.

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