Is my daughter's obsession with looks normal or a warning sign?

Hi Chris,

I want my daughter to do well, but since she became a teenager, she seems to spend all day flaunting her body, worrying about her clothes, shoes, nails and hair, and wasting time on social media. Is there any way I can keep her on track?

Teen Girl

Hi Teen Girl!

Most girls slip off the rails in their teens, so don’t worry too much.

Instead, show her that you have high expectations for her. Every day! Daughters who are constantly reminded of their parents’ high expectations have the best chance of growing up to become successful women.

So nag her! Then she’ll work harder at school, waste less time online, and be far less likely to get into trouble. And be less likely as an adult to get stuck in low-wage, dead-end jobs or to be unemployed.

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Staying on the rails doesn’t mean that your daughter will automatically succeed in life. But it does mean that she’ll be more likely to work towards becoming a success. Your task is to get her to the point where her willingness to work hard is driven by her own ambitions and vision rather than yours.

Though that won’t be easy, with endless eye rolls, slammed doors and major sulks along the way!

But the more it seems like going on at her is a complete waste of time, the more it’s likely to be working. Even though she’ll try all the time to get around you, your nagging will increase the chance she’ll make the right decisions.

Because all that repetition and nagging drives your voice really deep into her mind. It will stay for decades. Just like even now you can still hear your parents’ words, when you start thinking about doing something that you really shouldn’t. So make sure your daughter gets the right messages, and repeat them loud and clear for as long as it takes.

She’ll thank you for all your nagging. Eventually. Even though she’ll make it abundantly clear how much she hates it right now!

All the best,

Chris