The greatest skill in life is minding your own business

There should be a common course in CBC from a tender age to train people to mind their business. While we understand that life cannot be lived in isolation and that every trigger elicits opinions, people have to learn to draw limits.

Where opinions do not count or contribute to influencing policy, the opinion might as well be unnecessary. In such cases they can be suppressed, after all, a quiet fool looks wise.

Let me start by admitting that men are like weed to women. They make our world go round. When they dump us, our worlds spiral to an abrupt stop. While some women cry themselves to sleep for days on end, others hurl all forms of unprintable words at the man in the hope that they will hurt him.

Some go out latching onto every monkey tail that can numb their pain while they try to heal and hurt the ex. Regardless of the reaction, the bottom line is that women do not take it kindly when they are left by a man. It does not only harm our confidence but disorients our whole being.

To keep her emotions in check, Lupita Nyong’o took a break from matters of the heart to extend some love to a cat. But you see some things are impractical – a kitten can never replace a man. Kittens can neither call a woman to check on them randomly nor hug them. No cat has a hoarse voice and they cannot make a woman’s ovaries tingle.

Loving a fully grown man with a beard and a weight of 100kg is a full-time job that comes with a lot of dynamics that keep a woman healthy and fit. A cat weighing a paltry 4kg cannot make for a substitute.

It was only a matter of time before Lupita dropped the cat and picked up a real red-blooded man. We, the Association of Lupita supporters are pleased that finally the ex can start appreciating he lost a jewel.

While every person is entitled to their opinion, it is too ambitious for a hopeless person to comment about the milk glands of the daughter of the lake. They can rant all they want, but a man from Ringiti who has never set foot on the mainland should not troll Lupita about her bossom.