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You have called it quits The constant bickering and insecurity have finally reached their boiling point and none of you can take it anymore. He has taken his stuff from your house, quite quickly no less, and it’s for the best. How do you find yourself just as fast? Here are steps to get over him:
1. Do not rebound (just yet)
You know the famous saying ‘if you want to get over someone, get under someone else?’ Yeah, don’t follow that saying. It was birthed in some dingy bar under the heavy influence of alcohol. Rebounding has been shown to actually increase the hurting process and prolong the healing time. Moreover, you end up hurting an innocent individual who has been roped into this whole mess. Take sometime for yourself, re-evaluate your priorities and build yourself.
2. Step away from their socials
You might be tempted to check on how he’s fairing. Is there a new love interest? Don’t do that to yourself. While at it, unfriend or block his family and friends. It’s a given that when you break up with someone, you are pushed to break up with everyone and everything they came with. This includes friends and family. Also, don’t go over sharing your life on social media in an attempt to prove that you are doing aright. Take this time to focus on yourself. During this period, social media is the devil.
3. Don't trash talk
You will be tempted to trash talk your ex to your friends but it won’t do you any good. You’ll end up bitter. You can discuss your ex but stay away from calling him names. Trash talking or bad-mouthing him reflects poorly on you. You can insult him all you want in your head, that you are allowed.
4. Grieve the loss
Allow yourself to feel the pain. It is normal, you shared your heart with this person and now that he isn’t around anymore your heart is broken. There's no shame in that. Avoid shying away from the pain and taking up a city girl attitude (men are trash etc concept) - if you’re active on Twitter you know what I mean. If you don’t deal with the pain now, it will affect you when you attempt to move on.
5. Cut communication
Aim to go at least 30 days without contacting your ex if you want to start getting over the breakup. Thirty days will turn into 40, then 50, so on and so forth. Time will pass and by then, you’ll be feeling much better and have some additional clarity. All the wounds won't heal if you allow your ex to just roam around and interact with you. Saying ‘we can still be friends’ is a farce and doesn’t work, all it does is leave room for hope that you may one day get back together.
A breakup is never easy and the heartache associated with it is even worse to bear. Don’t lose sight of who you are as an individual. This too shall pass.
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