I’m arguing a lot with my wife at the moment because she’s incredibly lazy. We’ve somehow got into this rut of her doing nothing, so everything falls to me. I run around after her and our two kids while she’s on Instagram or Facebook or on the phone to her mum.
I bring her a cup of tea in bed every morning, yet she does nothing for me. She makes the kids their tea, but when I get in from work, I have to make ours!
Things came to a head last week when I was ill with flu and couldn’t do much. I was in bed for three days and my wife still did the bare minimum, ending in me losing my rag.
It’s getting to the point where I can’t stand to be around her. Whenever I try to have a sensible discussion, she just pulls the “I have to look after the kids all day, so I’m exhausted” card.
Both our children are at school now, so she has a pretty big part of the day to herself before she has to pick them up.
I simply can’t get through to her – can you offer any help?
Yes, tell her to get off her backside and help! You’re in a relationship and you’re supposed to be a team and support each other. At the moment, it’s one-way traffic and, unless you address it once and for all, your resentment is only going to grow.
First of all, stop bringing her tea in bed every morning and make the decision to look after yourself more. If necessary, do your own laundry and make your own dinner. I realise that might come across as petty to some people but, actually, it’s not.
She’s taking you for granted and taking advantage of your good nature to the point where it’s leaving you mentally and physically drained.
I get a lot of letters on this problem, mostly from women, so it’s interesting to see the flipside.
I’m hoping your wife will realise how much you’re doing and reflect on it, and start making more effort. But explain that it’s coming to a point where you’re questioning whether you should even be together.
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