Bad boy: Here are 16 tips every man must have learned about marriage in 2018

2018 was not a good year for your marriage, but you survived. There was the usual marital drama. Like Carol temporarily separating with you over a flirtatious message, or her following you all the way to Kakuma to bust you- a deal which flopped badly. Overall, there was so much to learn.

Here are the vital lessons you learned.

1. A jealous wife is better than one who is not jealous.  It shows she cares and you are probably the only one. Always beware of a spouse who is not jealous.

2. Sometimes in marriage, wives do incredible and incredulous things that leave you dumbfounded. Always brace yourself, lest they pull the rug from under your feet.

3. As a man, always pay your bills in the house. Few women can hold it down for a man, long enough. Most tire after a month, or less.

4. Marriage is full of temptations. A married man has access to women - sometimes more than an unmarried man.

5. There are men in offices who harass our wives. Be thankful if your wife reports them to you. Find the bastards and ruin their day.

6. Stay away from mothers-in-law.

7. Never allow your wife to run away to her home every time you have disagreements. It reflects badly on you as a man.

8. Wives like testing their husbands’ nerves. Always be on the lookout when they are determined to do it. It helps to be a benevolent authoritarian at home.

9. Smartphones are the bane of modern marriages. Couples are too distracted to undertake their parenting responsibilities. Children are also spending too much time on their screens.

10. Depending on the church your wife goes to, she may pick up some toxic doctrines. Beware if she starts to call any man Daddy and his wife Mummy.

11. As a man, always check the money you drink out there with your buddies vis-à-vis the money you spend in your household. When was the last time you bought your son or daughter a beautiful gift?

12. Modern wives will probably hate your countryside. Learn to live with it, and to be diplomatic about it. Unlike our mothers, millennial wives don’t know how to hide their disdain.

13. It helps to ban junk food in your home. Women can be irresponsible when it comes to feeding a family and kids love junk. Soon, this country will have an obesity epidemic, if it is not happening already.

14. You need to rein in on your wife’s spending habits. Some wives are wasteful and often unaware of their tendencies.

15. There is no better thing than being a father to a son who takes so much after you, that even as a toddler, he has your idiosyncrasies that make everyone happy.

16. Marriage is not a bed of roses. Thorns always accompany the roses. You can embrace the beauty and the smell of roses and find the gloves to deal with the thorny aspects of marriage. Let’s hope 2019 will be different.