Dear men, here is why you should not be friends with your wife on social media

Your friend George is a gym enthusiast, with muscles and a six-pack to show. At 33, besides being a gym freak, he is also a social media enthusiast. He recently married one of the hottest women, so curvaceous, waspish waist, killer smile and all. From the beginning, George has been a social media personality.

But something happened last week, that has been the talk of town. After a particularly tough work out, he posted a picture of himself, sweating with the well-toned muscles and the comment section was set on fire, with women swooning, drooling with comments such as, “you can get pregnant by just looking at him” and more.

George is not so smart. He loves attention. He kept pissing on the comments with emojis and smileys, flirting like a second-year hunk in college, and the comments did get too salacious with people asking George to get a room.

Apparently, George’s wife was watching every single action from the sidelines, and like a charged puff udder, she was waiting for George to show his sorry ass in the house. Like all stupid men, George went home, oblivious to his bad behaviour online. Man! They used to say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. That needs updating.

The wife exploded. Literally. She went berserk! When George narrated the story in the pub afterward, you couldn’t fail to notice he was shaken.

“Never seen such an overreaction. Man! She was crazy,” he said. “She locked me out of the house, and said she would never want to see my face again…” “But man, what was that you were doing?” you asked him.

“She never complains. She is not really active online. Not sure what devil possessed her this time around…Man, women are crazy,” he said. George is learning that simple fact when it is too late.

“Listen, George, a serious man must never be friends on Facebook with his wife or girlfriend. Actually, one of you must never be on social media - preferably the wife…” you advise, imagining what Plato would have advised him, had he lived in 2018.

“Come on, man, you can’t tell your wife to just delete her account, be serious,” George protested. “Come on, who wears the pants in the relationship?”

You sympathise with him.

“Then, you gotta go slow on social media. You’re also a bit old for that stuff you do,” you told him and you saw him flinch. Not many men like to be told the truth. But seriously, you can’t be friends with your wife on social media. Not when many of them stay in touch with their exes. Not with the libidinous men who have no respect for married women. Not with the women who want married men and can’t stop drooling.

It is a basic life skill that every man must know: Keep your spouse off social media and if you can’t, block her completely and any nosy friend likely to pass the info to her.

It is really simple. Otherwise, a George-like drama is inevitable. And it’s hard to convince an irate wife, that “she is just a friend.”

@nyanchwani

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