Valuable lessons I learnt in 2017 on familly and parenting

Here we are again, at the peak time for self evaluation and goal setting. So instead of reinventing the wheel, I shall also take the opportunity to look back at some lessons 2017 has taught me about being a wife, mother and human being.

I will, however, hesitate to set goals for 2018, because one of the things I have learnt is that while you imagine you are pursuing a diploma in English, life is actually busy administering a Masters in French!

When I began 2017, I thought I knew where I was going and how it was going to play out, but God laughed at my plans and flipped the script on me. And so I have learnt to be flexible and go with the flow.

One of the best ways to do this is to count your blessings. When business deals fell through, children were not on their best behaviour and work politics became unbearable, I learned to sit back and thank God for all the myriad things that were actually going right.

I am alive, healthy and have a home. I have a great partner and healthy, intelligent children. We may not have all the money for all the things we want, but we are yet to sleep hungry. So what if there are some miscreants who go out of their way to make our jobs difficult?

When I applied for this job I really wanted it, so I must continue to treat it with respect until God decides I am ready for the next phase in my life. A grateful attitude will carry you through the biggest of life’s tsunamis.

Hold your tongue. I will say it again: hold your tongue. If you are not using it to be grateful, then it is always a good idea to bite it, sing or do whatever you can to keep yourself from uttering useless words. Sometimes when we women feel tired or unfairly treated, we wield our tongues like whips, putting everyone in their place and cutting them down to match how small we feel.

We may reserve the bad words for our maids and husbands, but often, our children will fall victim. The power of life and death are in the tongue, people, and it is no joke. Use your tongue wisely or you will tear down your home. Enough said.

You must believe in something. Marriage is hard work, guys, and if you are doing the work without any divine intervention, you are definitely working unpaid overtime.

I used to think I was smart and I had all the answers. I used to laugh at all the wife stereotypes in Nigerian movies – you know the ones who are always praying and casting demons out of their homes.

Kumbe I was laughing at myself, because I have actually become one of those women, and I am not ashamed of it. You cannot be everywhere and do everything. Somewhere along the road, you are going to have to trust God with your life.

I have learnt that faith is not faith if you always know the outcome. It is a risk, but I have yet to be disappointed when I exercise my faith.

My husband responds with superhuman resolve when I have a little faith in him. Our God has come through and surprised and overwhelmed us so many times this year. I am looking forward to trusting Him with even bigger things in 2018.

Guard your heart and your home shrewdly. Get rid of friends who are full of negative ideas.

Get off WhatsApp groups which demand attention well into the wee hours of the morning. Regulate what you watch on TV. I’m looking at you telenovela addicts who can’t get enough of TV romance when your husbands have long forgotten what you look like naked.

Put that thing you are looking for on TV into your own life. As cliché as it sounds, stop whining and be the change you want to see.