Gentlemen, here’s how to know if a lady is out of your league

Lanes, my brothers, lanes! Forgive me if I sound a little snobbish and snooty today.

Thing is, many girls find it very irritating when shabby, low class blokes try to hit on them. It bothers these ladies that such dudes think they stand a chance with them. No matter how many blog posts you read that tell you that being “out of someone’s league” is all in the mind, the truth of the matter is that “lanes” exist and men need to mindful of these lanes. Kindly stay in your lane.

You can’t be a 4 aiming for a lady who is a nine! No way. It is just not going to happen. Dude, why are you putting yourself up for rejection? Here are a few ways to know she is out of your league.

1. She is drop dead gorgeous and you are not. I hate to toot my own horn but I think am quite a looker. Most of my girlfriends are the ultimate head-turners. I daresay on a bad day we are a solid eight on a scale of 1-10. Get this; that’s on a bad day! Most of my girlfriends have nice svelte bodies and pretty faces to boot. We are class acts and always strive to look like a million dollars and it goes without saying that we expect the men we date to look their best too. Personally, I go for the well built, tall and handsome men. I like men who are well groomed and smell good. I appreciate a man who puts time and money in his appearance.

Anything below that is a no-no. If you are not much to look at you have no business striking up a conversation with me with the intention of dating me. It is never going to happen! Stay in your visual lane honey.

2. She’s got money and you are a ‘hustler’. I shouldn’t even have to expound on this one. I don’t know where men with minimum wage salaries get off hitting on high flying women.

If you are broke, stay in your lane! A lady is doing pretty well for herself and can afford a few luxuries on her own. She has her own car and apartment and can comfortably take herself on vacations. Needless to say, she has expensive taste. Surely, the man she dates should be able to exceed what she can do for herself. Personally, I cannot accept cheap dates. If it is not in a fine dining establishment, I am not going. Period! If all you can afford is a meal at a tacky fast food joint, find a lady who will appreciate that. If you can’t afford champagne and roses, don’t ask me out.

3. She’s educated and you are not.

The average hot Nairobi girl hates it when a man approaches her and he can’t even express himself properly in English. Bad grammar irks me. For most university educated girls, primary school or even high school drop outs for boyfriends may never happen. What would I do with a high school drop out? Most will ask. The average hot city lady is only attracted to highly intelligent and educated men. As for me, I look for interesting conversations, active listening, humour, world knowledge, broad cultural interests and open-mindedness in a man. There’s nothing sexier than a man who can work his way around any conversation. If you are not blessed with wit, intelligence and a quick mind, don’t try to pick me up. What exactly are you going to talk about? We have nothing in common. You won’t be able to relate to anything I say.