Confessions: My best friend’s lover infected me with HIV then later I was raped and conceived

Tell us about yourself...

I grew up in Nairobi on State House Road with my stepparents. Immediately after finishing high school, I was told to vacate the house and start my own life.

How did you get infected with HIV? A man I was living with infected me. I was introduced to him by my best friend who was dating him. I did not have anywhere to go, so she took me there to work (for him) as a house help. I was desperate and I needed money. A few months later, he started showing interest in me and I could not say no. Before I knew it, he had broken up with my best friend.

What was your best friend’s reaction? She told me that I would regret it, but I dismissed it as just jealousy. In retrospect however, I suspect she must have known about his status since their baby died two weeks after birth.

How did you find out your status? I had applied for a job at a restaurant and they required my health records. I was confident because I thought they were testing for pregnancy or drugs. Two weeks later, when the tests came back, I was told I was positive. Actually, the doctor just told me that I had Aids and that I only had five years to live. Those days, medication was very expensive.

How did your boyfriend react? He admitted to having infected me because he was in love with me. He claimed that he was afraid I would leave him.

Did you leave him?

Yes. Then I went to live with his cousin who introduced me to hoodrats. Every one kept hitting on me and I became angry and bitter with men. I would insult them and move on because I did not want to disclose my status. Unfortunately, that’s how I ended up being raped.

What happened and who raped you?

A very good friend. One evening, I was very high and he offered to escort me home. On the way, he overpowered and raped me. 

Did you report him? I didn’t know I had been raped. I only woke up the next morning in so much pain. I went to a chemist and got an emergency pill on credit (I was too broke to afford it). After two weeks, I fell sick and consulted my grandma who took me to a gynaecologist who found some decomposing rubber inside me. She also told me that I was pregnant and recommended that I abort the baby claiming that one of us would die.

Did you abort? I decided to keep the baby. I wanted to experience motherhood before I died. Sadly, my baby used to cry a lot when he was born. One day, I just asked God for His will to be done.

Surprisingly, the baby stopped crying and even the doctors were shocked. This motivated me and I started believing in prayers, hoping I would get healed. I even started believing that I would get healed.

You really believed you could be healed? I got saved and one time, even saw a friend on TV and I confidently told her that I was healed. She recommended that I should go back and get tested. I went to Kenyatta National Hospital with my baby and found that I was still positive. I got so disappointed in God and immediately fell sick and went to Mbagathi Hospital where I was given treatment and recovered. However, in 2010, the worst type of illness hit me. I got cryptococcal meningitis. My teeth started falling off, my eyes were sunken, my cheekbones were showing and I had molascum on my face. I also became very thin. At the same time, I faced a lot of stigma because everyone I called to take care of my baby while in hospital came up with an excuse. I eventually got a house girl who stole from me and left my baby outside. Luckily, a neighbour took him in and took care of him.

At what point did you decide to get on ARVs (antiretroviral drugs)? That was in 2012 after testing positive on several occasions. I even visited a herbalist in Molo hoping to get a cure. When I told the herbalist that the drugs were not effective, he asked me to lie to people that I was healed and that in return, he’ll make me a ‘shareholder’ in his business. I refused and decided to take ARVS. Even my son said he wanted to get on ARVs.

How did you break the news to him that he is positive? I exposed him to the truth when he turned six. I would leave the ARVs boxes for him to see. He would read them and one day, he demanded to know if he was sick. I told him the truth and instead of being angry, he hugged me and assured me that everything would be fine.

Have you ever been in a relationship after knowing your status? Yes. I had a man in my life a few years ago and we even had a baby. He knew I was positive and when we wanted to conceive, he started taking drugs that would protect him from the virus. I was already on ARVs for a while. We however broke up when he became violent. Him and my second son are negative.