When she wants a baby and you aren't ready

Suddenly she now wants baby number 2

“I want a baby,” Carol says while you are stuck in traffic, on your way home. You act as if you heard nothing.

“I’m serious. I am ready,” she goes on.

Indeed, it is about time.

“Why now? And why the urgency?”

“There is no urgency. Kwani, you don’t want a baby?”

“I want. But this came out of nowhere. Anyway, let us get it on with it,” you tell her as you avoid being hit by a matatu with a reckless driver behind the wheel.

There is some moment of introspection. When you were dating Caroline, you once asked her if she had plans for children and she gave you a flat NO, for an answer.

One girl was enough she said. She was fiercely protective of her body size and image and there was the trauma of the birth of Farrah. She nearly went into depression.

It was understandable, given the man child she was dating then. Speaking of the man child, how is he doing? What is he up to lately? Has he inquired about Farrah lately? You are happy you threw him off the bus and you hope he never shows up.

“The sooner we get done, the better, you know. We are not getting any younger and you have to think of the gap. Farrah, turns 6 in October.”

That reminds you that your son with your baby mama is turning 5, (or is it 6?) in April. So if a child should be made, it will be a third child to your family. You wonder if Carol knows this. Speaking of your baby mama, why is she still bitter? Does she want to raise the son without you. Lord! That woman hates you.

“Of course, it is about time. Life has to go on, we have had enough fun, haven’t we?”

“Of course, you will never have enough fun...” she corrects you.

“What if we give it one more year?”

“Why?”

You don’t have an answer, you don’t even know why you asked that in the first place. Maybe sub-consciously you don’t want any commitment. Of course, you are not sure if Carol will even stay. You still wonder what her intentions are. She is just about the most secretive person you know. The last thing you want is raising two children out of wedlock. Because, Carol looks the type who will walk away at the slightest provocation.

I think we should give it more time before we rush, we should take care of everything and once we are absolutely sure, we can go ahead,” you say.

“What exactly are you not sure about? You don’t want a child?” she asks, a bit exasperated.

“Not really, there are other things, like which neighbourhood we shall move to, your next career move and such,” you tell her, but it sounds even unconvincing to yourself.

“We can do all that while I am pregnant, right?” she says, sarcastic, but rather in commanding you.

Now you are cornered. Your mind flashes forward to the baby showers, visitors and all the mess and chaos that come with child-making business and you don’t like that...

@nyanchwani