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Six tips on how to set goals in your relationship

Relationships - By Esther Muchene | December 3rd 2020 at 10:45:00 GMT +0300
Talk to your partner and understand their point of view and expectations (Shutterstock)

Relationships are such a beautiful thing but just like everything else, they need work. Sometimes we ignore this in the name of letting things go with the flow, and this, unfortunately, isn’t how it always works out.

It’s important to talk to your partner and understand their point of view and expectations when it comes to relationships.

Setting relationship goals can be a great way to know if you are moving in the correct direction or if there are some things that are not working in the relationship.

Also, different people have different goals. Depending on how far you are into the relationship, you are able to know what goals to review and which new ones you need to set up.

If we can be honest, I know some of us have actually never sat down with our partners to set goals for our relationships.

And maybe, just maybe, that’s why they did not work out as expected and honestly, I am one of those.

To avoid making the common mistake of failing to set goals for your relationship and end up losing it altogether, one relationship after another, we share some tips on how you can set goals in your relationship.

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i.Talk about it

Don’t make a set of goals without consulting your partner. Remember that the relationship is between two people, not you alone. Make sure your partner knows your expectations, and talk to them about yours then come to an agreement.

ii.Don’t bring up your previous relationship

It already failed so don’t try to fix it in the new relationship. You are dealing with a different person and they have different personalities. Imposing rules from your previous relationship into the current will be the quickest way to sabotage your relationship.

Remember love is all about compromise so don't be too rigid (Shutterstock)

iii.Be realistic

Start small and don’t have too many crazy expectations. A relationship is like a baby growing, they take time to grow. Don’t expect your partner to be so consumed in it and get 100% comfortable with the relationship within the first few months. It is also unrealistic to expect your partner to know what you like within the first month of dating.

iv.Understand what they think about relationships

You definitely don’t want to be dating yourself, so make sure you talk to your partner on his idea and view on relationships. Sometimes people just want a friend with benefits or they simply don’t believe in marriage and these can only affect your relationship later on. Make sure you are both on the same boat as regards the relationship.

v.Know why you are setting the goals

You cannot set goals if you don’t know why you want to set them. Before having the conversation, the two of you should think independently about your expectations.

vi.Be open-minded

Remember, these goals have to be accepted by both parties. Don’t be too rigid because love is all about compromise. If what they suggest doesn’t really have a great impact on you then don’t be too closed up. The best way to have this conversation is to keep an open mind. Simply because they talked about something does not mean that you are not doing the right thing.

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