Confessions: I'm a nudist and I'm scared my girlfriend will think it's weird

Hello,

I’m in my 20s and I’m hoping you can help with my dilemma. I’ve been dating a woman for some time, but don’t know how to bring up the fact that I’m a nudist and that I also have to be naked for my job as an artist’s model in life-drawing classes.

I’m really worried about telling her because lots of people have the wrong impression of naturists/nudists, assuming we’re always naked or it’s weird or sexual.

If the relationship keeps going well, I’d love to introduce my ­girlfriend to the naturist world, but I don’t know how to go about this.

I want her to know this side of me but, equally, I don’t want to video call her naked and say, “Hey, look, I’m a naturist!” Unless you think that’s a good idea!

I’ have a fantastic figure and I like to shout about it in the form of artwork, and I enjoy the fact I’m comfortable in my own skin.

I’m just not comfortable with my girlfriend not knowing and it’s always at the back of my mind. What do you think I should do?

Reply

Well, good for you! So many young people struggle with body image these days, thanks to all the Photoshopping on social media. To be honest, I’m surprised you’ve managed to keep this side of yourself – and your job – from your girlfriend if you’ve been dating for a while.

And I wonder what is holding you back – a fear she’ll reject you based on other people’s attitudes? Here’s the thing, she’s not just another person, she’s your girlfriend and she cares about you, and you have a life and a history.

I’d be surprised if you told her and it was a dealbreaker and the relationship was over.

However, she might just need more information, so she understands why you’re into it.

It’s up to you to tell her what it’s really like for you – that it’s not odd or sexual and you don’t walk around permanently naked.

No, it’s probably not a good idea to spring it on her naked via a Zoom call, but when you next see her, just say, “Look, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you, but I wasn’t sure how you’d react, so it’s taken me a bit of time to pluck up the courage to do it”.

I think unless you tell her, this will always be nagging at the back of your mind.

You shouldn’t have to hide things from the person you love, or live with a secret, because ultimately it’s damaging for the relationship.