Can I take my little secret to the grave?

My boyfriend is four years younger than me but he doesn’t know it. He is much bigger than me so maybe he just assumes that he is older and I think he is about to propose marriage to me. I don’t know how he will react when he realises that I am older than him so I am kind of confused about what to do. I don’t know if to tell him now or to do it later when we already have more going for us like a child or marriage? I love him very much and I don’t want to lose him. I cannot live without him and I cannot stand seeing him with another woman. He is very mature and so loving to me. Please advise me. {Kency} Your take: The issue of age should not be a problem even through some eyebrows may be raised. If you are both genuine then everyone will see through this element and support you in your wishes to marry. {Catherine Adeya} So that you don’t embarrass yourself, let him know that you are older now. Marriage requires honesty and selflessness. If he has issues with your age, have no regrets and move on. {Tasma Saka} Always remember that secrets will only ruin your relationships/marriage and age is nothing but a number. If he truly loves you, nothing will deter him from being with you. {Calvin Queens} A strong and healthy relationship requires a strong foundation based on honesty. Speak out early and before he proposes to you and you will free yourself from many issues. {Charles Olanya} If you truly love each other, age should not be a barrier. It is better to lose him now than lose him after your engagement and probably marriage. {Ouma Ragumo} This is the right time to let your boyfriend know everything about you. If both of you are in a serious relationship I don’t think he will leave you. {Ben Shikuku} Relationships thrive on so many things and I don’t think age is one of them, he could be younger but mature enough, age is just a number. {Andrew Didy Chaplin} In a genuine relationship, an age gap may not be a big issue. All you need is to let him know that you are older than him and if he truly loves you, he will stick around. {Elvis Otieno} Counsellor's take Kency, within a relationship set-up, you can get away with some lies for instance the number of relationships and sexual partners you have had (these are better kept on the lower side conveniently to a maximum of three) e.t.c. However, some issues are pretty much like an infected wound so you can only keep them hidden for so long. The difference between these categories of lies is the probability of being discovered in the future. Where it is obvious that the truth will someday emerge, it is advisable to volunteer that information earlier on before it presents itself. Another thing about relationships is that it is not what the other person does or does not do that hurts, it is the feeling of being taken for a ride and for granted that really stings. Giving it away before it is discovered has many advantages including buying the goodwill of the other party while lying or withholding information that will one day be discovered puts holes into your credibility. Coming clean with this will ensure that even with his probable plans of proposing marriage to you (as you have read he signs), he will not feel short changed should he discover this having proposed to you already. Remember as soon as you start preparations for your marriage this will definitely come up and you don’t want these details emerging when plans are underway. The best way to handle this situation is to put that card on the table and ask to hear his thoughts. Once it is out, you will get an answer and the likelihood is that it will be a positive one. Maybe he already knows the current situation – there are many things that tell ones age away apart from the Identity Card including the year you sat your KCSE among others. As long as it remains hidden or is not talked about it, it shall always remain a big deal but when it gets out, it will die out slowly. Many times people learn to accept and live with the things they cannot change. I have a feeling that he already knows. Whatever you will share with him will most certainly not be breaking news to him. Buy his goodwill with this card early on as you may need his goodwill on another issue you may be keeping hidden in future. {Taurus}