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The art of being ‘unbothered’

Readers Lounge - By Gloria Nyang'iye | April 18th 2020 at 09:00:00 GMT +0300
When you’re in your own lane of life, there’s really no need to explain yourself (Photo: Shutterstock)

The term, ’unbothered’ pretty much describes a light-hearted outlook on life. It’s a liberating feeling. Nonetheless, it should not be confused with being insensitive towards other people or living life recklessly and overly carefree.

I believe that an unbothered person does not need external validation because they are self-aware. One of my favourite songs is Mood 4 Eva from Beyoncé’s album, The Lion King: The Gift.

In one of her verses, she raps about being ‘so unbothered’, not caring about people’s negative opinions of her and how this outlook on life is her ‘mood 4 eva’. Here is some advice on how to master the art of being unbothered.

Dopamine helps you feel happier and inner happiness eliminates feelings of worry and stress (Photo: Shutterstock)
  • Mind your business

Life is full of ups and downs and we all have enough issues of our own. As hard as this is to do in a time when many of us use social media regularly, you still need to protect your peace.

When you’re too immersed in other people’s lives, you neglect some important aspects of your own life and their issues may start becoming your issues. Simply mind your business and do whatever you need to do to cultivate peace for yourself and for the people around you.

  • Cut off dead ends

When you trim off the dead ends from your hair, your hair looks thicker and healthier. Just imagine how much ‘healthier’ your life would be if you cut some people off. Some connections are simply dead.

Just like split ends, certain friendships probably no longer add value to your life. If you’re not ready to let some people go, look within and establish where you currently are in life and where you would like to be. This way, you’ll be able to determine who you will be taking with you on this journey.

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Unbothered people don't need external validation because they are self-aware (Photo: Shutterstock)
  • Stay in your lane

In conjunction with minding your business, you also need to stay in your lane. The quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy” – Theodore Roosevelt, rings true in the current age of frequent social media use.

Online platforms simply display a highlight reel and so comparing yourself to perfectly curated photos and videos online may make you feel less than. Avoid trying to ‘Keep up with the Joneses’ and curate a life that you’re content with. Your life should be authentic to your needs and abilities.

  • Let your actions do the talking

When you’re in your own lane of life, there’s really no need to explain yourself. After all, actions speak louder than words. Not everyone is going to agree with your life choices so ignore them and let them talk that talk while you walk the walk.

Moving in silence is so important because this blocks out a lot of external noise. Simply set your own personal goals and, while moving at your own pace, smash them and celebrate your accomplishments thereafter.

  • Practice gratitude

Blessings are relative and for one person this may be clean, running water whereas for another person, their blessing could be finally landing a job after years of tarmacking. Studies show that gratitude activates the hypothalamus and gives us a feel-good chemical called ‘dopamine’.

Dopamine helps you feel happier and inner happiness eliminates feelings of worry and stress. When you appreciate your gifts and blessings, you become more content with your life.

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