I have been the first to jump out of the crowd and say ‘I can’- not this time

I have always been that kind of person who presents herself before people as someone who ‘can do it’. Anytime we are anywhere and people want to know how to do anything, I have been the first to jump out of the crowd and say ‘I can’. I have, however, stopped doing this. It’s probably the reason other people get it right while I get it wrong, all because they use me as an example. May those spirits that push me to be the first to try things out remain in 2018.

This is probably something I have done since birth. I remember my mother taking us to a birthday party and when the music started playing and children were ushered to the dancefloor, I was the first to jump in and start shaking a leg yet I had not even finished eating the food that was on my plate. I was later awarded for my bravery and I think that’s what stuck on my mind. I have since been fighting to be the first to do stuff in various groups.

In fact, the first time I was stung by a bee, it was because I had grabbed it and locked it in my palm to prove to other children that not all bees sting. I will never forget the excruciating pain I felt. Good thing was that I missed school that week since my fingers were too swollen to hold a pencil. I guess the rewards were greater than the pain I went through.

Doing things to please your friends is easier as a child than it is as an adult. Adults do crazy things to please their peers. I will not even tell you what happened after I tried to prove to my chama members that I could swim in deep water.

Then came the day when my friends and I had gone for dinner somewhere and a handsome man walked in. We all wanted to go and say hi but nobody was willing to go first. As usual, I stood up, adjusted my bra and dress and walked up to the man who was sitting all alone. I swear all I wanted was to show my friends that I could do it. Should I equally swear that all I wanted was to say hi? I know you will not believe me, I will not even bother convincing you. I walked to the man and, just as I was directing my hand to him for a handshake, in ran his hysterical girlfriend. Unknown to me, they had been in the middle of a quarrel when he had walked in.

Again, the day I will fully recover from the shame, I will tell you how I spent the better part of the next day in hospital trying to rearrange my teeth. Never get between a man and a violent woman, whether knowingly or unknowingly. I swear no one is stronger than a violent woman charging at her ‘enemy’. Only God knows the stars that I saw on that night. At some point, I even thought I was out in the field lying next to the love of my life and counting stars as we planned our future together. Take this from me, stars are real after a knock out, this isn’t a joke.

So now, my friends here are trying to convince me to go horse-riding with them in the New Year. I know that small spirit in me will tell me to be the first to get on a horse and ride it. For that reason, I am blocking their numbers till they are done with that. I know they want me to be their litmus paper in finding out which horse will be violent and which one will be friendly. This time around, I am not falling for any temptation. Especially one that involves any animal.

I still haven’t forgotten how a donkey kicked me inside the school kitchen when I was ten. The donkeys had carried water to school, as usual, and one was standing in the kitchen as workers offloaded water from its back. All the other students stood aside as they waited for it to leave the kitchen before walking in to get a cup of porridge. I told them that they were cowards and walked right into the kitchen with my cup tightly held in my hands. The next thing, my body was giving the kitchen wall a high five!

Dear Lord, may this spirit of being the first one to try things out stay in 2018. Of course, unless it’s receiving money.