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Home / Parenting

Five tips on how to gain control when your kid makes you angry

 Considering the damage this can do to your kids, try not to lose your temper with your kids (Shutterstock)

We can all agree that kids can make one lose it.

Out of nowhere, they can throw something at you, speak back rudely, or hold on to a toy at the store and completely refuse to let go throwing a tantrum until you give in and buy it when you hadn’t planned to do so.

What do you do? Get angry and lash out at them.

Although it is a natural human emotion, anger can get out of control and you may lose your temper worsening the situation.

You are doing so much to balance work, family, house chores and everything else. As if that isn’t enough, you may be battling with a health condition, going through financial difficulties or getting over a disagreement with your partner.

With all that over your head, you lose your patience easily and anything small can trigger you.

Considering the damage this can do to your kids, you need to get a handle of things and here are some tips on how you can do that.

i.Identify your triggers

All parent’s triggers are different. So sit down and analyze what makes you tick.

Your child may refuse to follow instructions, bad behavior or those phrases they throw back at you when you tell them to stop doing something.

Whatever it may be, once you know it, it becomes easy to identify it and react in a much better way.

This way, you won’t act out with anger because you have taken the triggers into account.

ii.Calm down

Once you notice you’re about to get angry, remain calm no matter what. Walk away and step out of the situation to get hold of your emotions.

If that means listening to some soothing music, talking to a friend or taking a walk, do so. Just make sure your child is in safe hands before you leave.

In the situation where you can’t, block out the noise, count to 10 backwards and control your breathing until your heart rate slows down and you’re feeling much better.

iii.Expect your child to annoy you

You’re not dealing with an adult here so expect your child to annoy you. Naturally, they will not listen and do what you want them to do at times.

Don’t take it personally but try to understand where it is coming from because they are just trying to test how far you can let them go and get away with their bad behavior.

As they misbehave, remain calm and remind them of the consequences should they go against the limits.

iv.Wait before acting out

No matter the situation, don’t act out while angry. Take a few minutes to get it together before addressing your child.

In a calm tone let them know what they have done wrong then tell them you will talk about it later. The time off will allow you to calm down and think things over.

Sit your child down and listen to the side of their story. Thereafter you can decide what action to take.

v.Don’t get physical

If you grew up in an African home, a few slaps and spanks when you strayed were probably expected and accepted.

Physical punishment, however, has a negative impact on children especially the younger ones.

While it may make you feel better after hitting them in a rage of anger, this may become your way of punishment every time they misbehave because it gives you an immediate release to discharge those negative emotions.

In the long run, this will affect your children’s development and they may also start acting out physically towards other people because of what they have seen happen to them at home.

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