Evewoman : Ladies, singlehood’s not all doom and gloom; here’s some joy

Lady Speak

Ladies, singlehood’s not all doom and gloom; here’s some joy

Photo: Courtesy

Being a bachelor is often looked at as an enviable title. In fact, something worth celebrating. Such men are seen as the lucky few who escaped the torture of a nagging wife and shackles of monotonous and boring family life. You will, in fact, not find anyone shedding tears for bachelors.

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Ironically, when a woman chooses the same path, she gets judged. It’s a social crime. This is because everywhere you look, there is a celebration of wives and girlfriends, it does not matter if they are unhappy or if their men cheat on them or batter them senseless.

In fact, to some people, any suggestion that a relationship or a marriage has hit rock bottom is the worst and most shameful thing that can happen to a woman. Reason? Being a single woman is considered the lowest of lows.

The biggest accomplishment a woman can achieve in this world is nab or bag herself a husband or so it seems. Mention the fact that you are a single woman in any social setting and you will be amazed by the reaction.

It suddenly doesn’t matter that you are highly educated and doing well in life; almost everyone gives you a disproving look.

There must be something wrong with her! They are likely to wonder, pity all over their faces.

Marriage baggage

Further you have to deal with married men hitting on you — left, right and centre — because they think you are desperate and thus ready to accept any man, including those with marriage baggage.

Even television portrayals of single women are skewed and insulting. From Olivia Pope in Scandal, to Mary Jane Paul in Being Mary Jane, they are all successful in the work environment, but so messed up emotionally with miserable personal lives and, yes, they are all crazy in one way or the other.

So as you can imagine the down pour of pity I got over Easter when I strolled into a family gathering with no engagement ring, again. My whole family was very concerned for this ‘poor’ little girl. In fact, they keep wondering, doesn’t anyone want her?

Well, let me let you all in on a little secret, being a single woman is fabulous! Why do you think single women look younger, happier and are more accomplished in their careers? If you think I am lying, I dare you to look around. The single years can be a wonderful time for a woman as it is the only time in a woman’s life where she can truly be herself.

His irritating people

You don’t have to share your space with someone. You don’t have to submit to anyone. You don’t have to ask for permission to go out with friends.

You neither have to deal with ‘his irritating people’, nor behave in a certain way to please them. You can date whoever you want whenever you want. Who has time to take care of a grown man; pamper, baby him and all?

By being single, you can easily be the best in your career without being scared of posing a ‘threat’ to your man.

You have the financial freedom. No one can force you to have sex when you are not in the mood, as it is the case among some married women.

So for all those men out there who throw their weight around, thinking they are the best thing since sliced bread be warned. Many women are single by choice and can do without you.

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