x Eve Woman Wellness Readers Lounge Leisure and Travel My Man Bridal Health Relationships Parenting About Us Digital News Videos Opinions Cartoons Education E-Paper Lifestyle & Entertainment Nairobian Entertainment Eve Woman Travelog TV Stations KTN Home KTN News BTV KTN Farmers TV Radio Stations Radio Maisha Spice FM Vybez Radio Enterprise BULK SMS E-Learning Digger Classified The Standard Group Corporate Contact Us Rate Card Vacancies DCX O.M Portal Corporate Email RMS
Login ×

The dos and don’ts of step parenting

Parenting - By Esther Muchene | December 1st 2020 at 10:10:00 GMT +0300
Step parenting can be challenging especially when the child is not very receptive of their step parent (Shutterstock)

While being a parent may not easy, being a step parent can even be harder. Step parenting gets a little bit challenging as at times some of the children are not very receptive of their step parent.

There are very many things that influence how a child perceives a step parent as being as an actual parent, and a step parent cannot really control how their new family sees them but this is not a reason to get discouraged.

If you are faced with a hurdle and you are struggling to crack your step kids, we have some tips that can help you go through the trying moment.

Below we look at some of the step parenting do’s and don’ts.

  • Don’t replace the other parent

Remember you are an addition to the family not a replacement. Don’t try and replace the other parent as there is a high chance of that backfiring right on your face. It is best to be yourself and simply be an extra parent.

Always play your role as a step parent not as the other parent. It doesn’t matter whether the other parent is alive or not, just don’t try to take their place as you will never be them.

  • Let the available parent guide

Yes, we are eager to create bonds with the kids but let the other parent help with that. Not all kids are open to having step parents but with the other parent helping, it all becomes easy. Before you make or do anything for or with the kids, it is always just to consult with the available parent.

  2. 1. How to talk to your child about sexual safety
  3. 2. Ciara opens up about parenting and marriage during the pandemic
  4. 3. Mum-of-16 shares her simple tip for feeding kids without leaving any washing up
  5. 4. Protecting your children from virtual violence in video games, movies
Be their friend first as you ease way into the family (Shutterstock)
  • Understand the children

You need to try to understand and learn the children before you initiate a friendship with them as this will help you know how to handle them. Every child is unique so don’t use the rules you use on your kids or your nieces and nephews.

  • Be kind

The worst thing you can do is be cruel to your step children as that’s more than a sure way to make them hate you. I know some kids are rude to step parents but that is not a reason to reciprocate the vice. Always remember that you are the adult and they are the child. For sure the kids can put you to test just to invalidate your presence but the last thing you’d want to do is to retaliate.

  • Be their friend not parent

You should not be the one punishing or making decisions on their behalf. Be their friend first as you ease way into the family. They already see you as an enemy and you shouldn’t worsen it. It’s easier to make them comfortable with you by being their friend.

  • Step back

Don’t be in too much of their issues or space. Give them space. Remember you are the stranger there. Don’t be too desperate to form the bonds, just let it flow. Don’t force interaction, be friendly to them but know that you don’t have to hold a conversation every time you are in a room together. Give them time to adjust to your presence.

Most importantly, remember these things take time. You need to understand that they are hurt by their parent’s separation or lose and you would do just what they are doing if you were in their position. Move and act with wisdom, patience and understanding.

Top Stories

Rev Dr Emily Onyango appointed first woman bishop of the Anglican Church of Kenya
Achieving Woman - By Derrick Oluoch

What you need to know about Nairobi’s first female deputy governor
Achieving Woman - By Lolita Bunde

Kate Middleton 'surprised' by present Meghan Markle sent her on 39th birthday
Entertainment - By Mirror

Kim Kardashian and Kanye 'in marriage counselling with little chance of living together'
Entertainment - By Mirror

Girl code: I should have dated the boring campus guy
Girl Talk - By Beryl Wanga Itindi

'I cheated at work and now husband wants me to quit job I love'
Marriage Advice - By Mirror

Meghan Markle and Harry's 'billion dollar brand' will be 'catastrophic' for Kate Middleton
Entertainment - By Mirror

Six fruits that can help fight bloating
Healthy Eating - By Lolita Bunde

Woman dubbed world's first Covid patient who vanished from Wuhan a year ago still missing
Health - By Mirror

4 ways to break a soul tie
Relationships - By Jennifer Karina

Latest Stories

How to talk to your child about sexual safety
Parenting - By Derrick Oluoch

Mum-of-16 shares her simple tip for feeding kids without leaving any washing up
Parenting - By Mirror

Exactly what time children should go to bed each night
Parenting - By Mirror

PHOTOS: Caroline Mutoko on embracing motherhood
Parenting - By Audrey Masitsa

Protecting your children from virtual violence in video games, movies
Parenting - By Derrick Oluoch

'My toxic in-laws lavished one of our kids with gifts and ignored the other'
Parenting - By Mirror

How new mums can make breastfeeding easier, LactaMama founder Angel Waithera
Parenting - By Audrey Masitsa

Ten things not to say to a mum on maternity leave
Parenting - By Esther Muchene

Tips on how to handle your non-mum friend who shows zero interest in kids
Parenting - By Esther Muchene

Christmas miracle? Woman gives birth 30 minutes after finding out she's pregnant
Parenting - By Mirror

Stay Ahead!

Access premium content only available
to our subscribers.

Or Login With Your Standard Account
Support independent journalism

Please enter your email address to continue

Support independent journalism
Create An Account
Support independent journalism
I have an account Log in
Reset Password
Support independent journalism
Log in