How to build a strong connection with your children

It is every parents' dream to raise children who are well-behaved while maintaining that friendship bond with them. However, it is never guaranteed that your children will grow up the right way. You must set boundaries and in the process impact how they relate to you.

Some children may coil away and avoid sharing sensitive matters with you for fear of being reprimanded while others may grow so distant that you might miss the opportunity to really get to know them. Here is how you can build a strong connection with your children.

Buying your children gifts and ensuring they are well fed isn’t enough to create a strong connection with them, they need to know and feel loved. Aim to hug them at least once a day, kiss them whenever you can and never forget to tell them how much they mean to you. When children believe they are loved, they will take correction positively as they understand you have their best interests at heart.

Make it a norm to play their favourite games with them or teach them your own. When you share games and laughter often with your children, it gives them a channel to release anxiety, grudges and upsets they might be feeling towards you. Children that spend little or no time with their parents often feel disconnected and are more likely to act out.

Talking to your children is different from talking at them. Slow down, listen and give them a chance to explain themselves, defend themselves and maybe you might understand why they make poor choices. When children feel like all you do is complain and berate them, they grow up resenting you and in the long run they may grow distant. It is at that point that you feel your children are slipping away.

Children may be transitioning into teenagers, moving to another class or giving up a favourite toy and they will need you to help them go through these phases as smoothly as possible. A lot of kids have a hard time transitioning and a lack of understanding can make them feel betrayed at their time of need. When you notice them struggling, encourage them and be the bridge they need during these tough transitions.

When you promise to watch a movie, play a game or simply talk to them, always try as much as you can to keep your word. Children are very sensitive and you don’t want them to feel that your job or other people are more important than they are. Always keep your promises and avoid awkward situations where you have to lie to them, they may be children but they have feelings too.

Most parents are role models to their children even when they don’t realize it and more often than not children mimic what they do. When you set rules like everyone should eat together, no phones at family gatherings or game nights, you need to follow through on your commitments. Do not be the first to break your own rules and use your job as a scapegoat. Your children will pick these cues and soon start making excuses as well. However, when you are true to your word, they learn to trust you as well.