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Home / My Man

Of married women with a ‘girlfriend’ mentality

My Man
By Silas Nyanychwani | 4 years ago | 3 min read

We were leaving the bar in the city centre at 10.37 p.m. We had not eaten anything when we started drinking, which means the few beers I had imbibed had started to make every woman in the vicinity look like Scarlet Johansson. My younger but richer friend was to drop me home.

Then he took a wrong turn. May be it is the beer. May be I overplayed my paranoia, but I screamed, "where are you taking me!' See, my friend's wealth is of dubious means. The kind who says they are into 'biasharaz' but will never disclose what business. I have heard of human sacrifices, and I was concerned. No one knew where I was at that time. The headline, 'Missing Journalist found murdered in..." flashed through my eyes.

"I'm buying Lucy some pizza as we go." He answered as we sped towards a pizzeria in the upper sides of the CBD.

"Why Pizza? Hasn't she cooked?" I asked, relieved after that sissy moment. He threw his hand in the air resignedly. Quiet. We got to the pizzeria, he bought the largest pizza available sprinkled with whatever Lucy wanted. He bought some fries and some chicken parts that look like they were rolled in the sand. Off, we went.

Relieved that I was not being kidnapped, I sobered up to the fact that my friend's wife had not cooked and had instructed him to take pizza to her. And the poor son of a woman was going to eat fries and chicken plastered with dry, spiced wheat paste.

My friend kidnapped this woman from college and they have been together for five years. The parents are scarcely aware. Boko Haram comes to mind as social media has aptly put it. But together they have a daughter and essentially, they are married. But the girlfriend is yet to make that requisite mental transition from that mind of a girlfriend to that of a wife. I have seen her before insisting on accompanying us to a night out, spoiling the party for everyone.

It got me thinking. There is a breed of women who eight years into marriage are still demanding to be treated like girlfriends. You go for dates. Go to clubs. Pizza. Flowers. Call her every hour of the day.

Guys marriage is all about growing up. And men and women of my generation barely grow up after marriage. Women of our generation never want to settle down. Yet, marriage calls for certain mental adjustments to cope up with the biological changes wrought on our bodies by aging, giving birth and parental stress.

But now we have a generation of women who were breastfed on trashy Mexican soaps and weaned on tasteless Hollywood series who cannot even adjust their wardrobe to suit that of mother and a lovely wife. I have seen some married women in extremely short and provocative skirts and heels so high they can hawk to flying planes.

All this are unnecessary. A woman needs to be just decent, more comfortable at home and church, away from the work place. A woman must ensure that he nourishes her husband. Of course every once in a while (twice a year at most) eating out is necessary. A married woman who wants her marriage to work must never ever know the inside of a bar. Alcohol ruins homes. When a man is an alcoholic, it is bad. When the wife too insists on the frothy liquids, that marriage is now set up for failure.

When women learn to be contented that everything changes as they grow older, half the world's problems will go away. If you elect to be married, there are certain sacrifices to be made. Alternatively, you can choose to be single, and live with your dog in your 30s or worse marry young men only interested in your money.

@nyanchwani

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