How to let go of the need for approval

Everyone needs an ego boost from time to time. When given in small, healthy doses a bit of praise here and there can serve to motivate you. However, it is when one is completely dependent on this praise and/or approval that a problem arises.

What drives your need for approval?

There are adults who can’t make decisions on their own or they constantly second-guess themselves. They therefore turn to others to approve of their decisions. The upside of this is, it can be argued, that most of the time you are assured of making a conventional decision, often avoiding mistakes. The downside, however, is that you never experience life the way you want nor do you learn how to take full responsibility of your actions.

Different factors can contribute to ones need to seek the approval of others. Upbringing plays a big role in this. There are people who were constantly berated for their decisions even when they were old enough to bear the consequences. Others weren’t allowed enough independence to decide anything on their own. Thus, they carry these habits into adulthood.

Lack of self-esteem where one constantly doubts their abilities, being afraid of confrontation should anyone question your decisions and a desire to fit in all contribute to the need to constantly seek approval.

Why should you let go?

When other people’s opinions has no effect on you, you have room to be yourself and make your own choices.  You to express yourself shamelessly, set and work on your goals and consequently live a life free of regrets.

Below are things you should remember when you’re learning to let go of others’ approval

a. Remember that you are worthy

Constantly remind yourself that you are allowed to have an opinion. You’re allowed to have a say in how you live your life. Have a set of affirmations which you recite often to remind yourself of your self-worth and capabilities.

b. People will always disapprove and that’s okay

The worst that can happen whenever someone disapproves of you is that your ego will be bruised. However, if you focus on the benefits of sticking to your decisions, you will inevitably overcome this fear of displeasing others and fall in love with your decisions even more.

c. Constantly re-evaluate your goals

Whenever you’re faced with a choice, check if the option you want to take aligns with your goals.  

d. Listen to your inner voice

That little voice inside you will, more often than not, guide you towards what is good for you. Make it a habit to become attuned to it. This can be done through meditation where you silence outside noise and concentrate on you. In the same vein, you will be able to discern which voices you should listen to and which ones are trying to manipulate you for their own benefit.

Letting go of the need for approval is the ultimate testament that you love and trust yourself enough to take charge of your life.  It shifts power from outer parties to your inner self. You get to be responsible of your choices and live a life of contentment.