The double standards of our society: The pressure that comes with being a woman

It is not easy being a woman. This statement maybe cliché but again it is the plain truth. Feminity comes with so many challenges such that you have to be a woman to understand a woman. Unfortunately, the enemy of a woman is a woman. So they say. So who is a woman’s best friend if the opposite gender always claim it is hard understanding a woman and women are busy bringing fellow women down?

Since childhood, girls are trained to do things in a particular way. ‘Sit with your legs crossed, you are a girl’… ‘Who will marry you if you can’t do laundry, clean a house or do utensils?’… ‘You are a girl and therefore you have to be clean, men don’t like dirty women!’… Such words were often repeated to girls in my time when growing up.

It is so unfortunate that even in the 21st century we are still talking about the challenges women face. Even with women empowerment groups and organizations and all the campaigns about gender equality. In our society today, even in top ranks, women are expected to dress in modesty but look sexy at the same time. Ironically enough, our male counterparts are not judged as harshly as we are done.

Last week when Jubilee MPs and NASA MPs clashed, I watched a woman narrate how police officers threated to rape her. She was in the company of her male colleagues but she is the only one who received rape threats. Why? Her only offence was being a woman in a rowdy crowd of men

When a child fails in life, the child is termed as the mothers whilst when the child turns out just well, the dad is mostly given the thumps up. Even in today’s world when women are fighting tooth and nail to break the glass ceiling, they are always judged harshly. Even in breaking marriages and women are on the receiving end, the script is always the same. ‘You are a woman, just stay and be the proverbial Proverbs 31 woman. Wives are the glue that holds marriages together’. Such irony!!! I mean, why is the man not subjected to such talks yet marriage is a two-way traffic?

If a husband happens to cheat, the hushed tones will say probably the wife is to blame, maybe the wife does not take good care of him and hence he had to seek solace elsewhere. . Or worse still, people will bury their heads in the sand and say men are wired that way. But what happens if a wife cheats? Good Lord!!! The bashing, the isolation! A woman who cheats is seen as a disgrace to the whole community. I mean, why all the double standards?!

Women have to deal with so much in their lives. The pressure that comes with a good wife/girlfriend.. you have to look a certain way. Every other month we have to deal with things we have no control over : Menses, mood swings, ovulation… But we have to put up a brave face, smile and conquer the world together with our male counterparts. When we fall in love and get so emotionally attached, they term us as clingy. But if men fall deep in love and gets emotionally attached, (which they hardly do btw!!) they are termed as loving.

But don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that men are not prone to such kind of treatment. All I am saying is that women are more vulnerable. I appreciate that people globally are taking a stand in demystifying all the stereotypes against women but the plain truth is that we have a very long way to go till we are fully liberated.