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Bullied at work? Here’s how to effectively handle it

Career Tips

A few years ago, I read a post on a professional networking site calling out what was termed as bad managerial behaviour. In this post, an employee reported constantly feeling under attack for certain antics that his boss regularly used to introduce and sustain an atmosphere of aggressiveness.

He said that his boss exploited the defence that competition was healthy and the only way for the team to hit their targets. A few months later the employee, who was one of the top performers, reported leaving the organisation due to a toxic working environment.

A survey done in 2016 found that three out of every 10 workers feel bullied at work. Unlike playground antics however, it can be harder to identify and call out bullying in the workplace for what it is.

Is it aggressive behaviour which is sometimes encouraged in competitive workplaces and accepted as the norm? Is it a lack of self-awareness and low emotional intelligence?

I’ve heard of cases where the situation is complicated by the ‘godfather syndrome’ or where the bully has such a track record of delivering results, causing decision makers to turn a blind eye for the sake of the organisation’s performance.

 Are you being bullied?

Michele Woodward, an executive coach, acknowledges that workplace bullying ‘encompasses a broad spectrum of behaviour — with outright bullies on one end and people who are simply rude on the other’.

Among the most common ‘bullying tactics’ include:

Being falsely accused of mistakes. Being constantly criticised by colleagues or bosses, especially in the presence of others. Being held to different standards from your colleagues by virtue of your gender, race or values.

While it may seem quite harmless, research shows that if you’re continuously singled out to undertake ‘housekeeping/secretarial duties’, it demeans your authority and you start to be seen as a less instrumental or value adding part of the team. However, if you throw a tantrum or refuse in the presence of other staff, it may seem as if you’re not a team player and create discomfort.

  4. Being deliberately excluded from projects or meetings.

Most workplace experts caution against taking one isolated incident and labelling it as bullying. While there is nothing that justifies poor behaviour in the workplace, sometimes there could be an unintentional outcome that causes angst. The key to identifying whether it is bullying or not rests on a couple of questions - does the identified action happen often and is there a spirit of remorse when it is addressed?

 

Why bullies bully

When competency is questioned. There’s a commonly held idea that people act out when their ego is threatened. Nathaniel Fast, a behaviour analyst in the Marshall School of Business, contends that sometimes powerful people behave aggressively towards the less powerful when their competency is questioned. In a study that the analyst conducted, well liked and skilled employees tend to be the most obvious targets because they pose a threat to a boss or supervisor, especially one who does not have a growth mindset.

Fix it:  While employees should not stop offering value because it threatens colleagues or bosses, gratitude has been found to have an ego-stroking effect that produces a positive outcome. Even something as simple as ending an interaction or email with ‘thank you for your help/input’ could switch the ego-driven behaviour.

 How to stand up to bullying

In both the playground and the workplace, standing up for yourself can have a profound effect on your interaction with the bully, and in some cases even stop it. While it may be easy to do this in response to a misdemeanour by a workmate, it may be more difficult when it’s someone who is your superior.

Timing is key. Approach the person who is exhibiting this behaviour immediately after the meeting or session and explain the impact of their actions on you being a fully functioning member of the team. Where possible, always frame it in terms of how detrimental is to your ability to add value in your role.

For example, state that when you take minutes every time it prevents you from contributing constructively and could this role be swapped across members of the team.

Be factual as opposed to emotional. In case of being excluded point it out and state that you would like to be included next time as you had agreed previously.

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