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When we hear the word ‘sabotage’ at work, our minds immediately go to episodes of women bursting into tears in meetings or that drunken incident at the Christmas party that had people’s tongues wagging for days on end. But there are other subtle ways in which we discourage our superiors or peers from taking us seriously at work.
Statement or question
Blame it on social conditioning, we were raised to be seen and not heard. So instead of speaking up in meetings and being assertive, we employ a two-pronged sabotage. We avoid speaking up at meetings unless we are 100 per cent sure of our answer and can even quote a handbook to support it.
Then, if we find the courage to speak up, we frame our statement as a question, in a bid not to be seen as too forward or forceful. Observe your tone of voice and inflections, end your statements with a full stop.
Body language
How we say what we say plays as important a role in the message we are trying to communicate. Furthermore, the manner in which we conduct ourselves can send a message and make the listener receptive to the message or not.
Sitting up straight, with shoulders back and good posture portrays confidence before you say a word. No matter how anxious you may feel, portraying an energetic and confident exterior will translate into what you say.
Other unconscious habits such as twirling hair and playing with jewellery not only portray our anxiety but they distract the listeners’ attention away from the message. Instead, rest your hands on the table or on your lap, avoid fidgeting and if you need to gesticulate to emphasize important points, do it deliberately.
Ensure you pay attention to some of the unconscious ways in which you behave when addressing meetings that could be taking away from the rapt attention you should be getting.
Mentorship
As women, we sometimes think that we should only look to women mentors as they are the ones who understand our struggles. This is not necessarily true. In fact, there are many men who are champions for female progression and who have not only mentored other women but have a unique perspective on handling the challenges we deal with at work. It is healthy to have mentors of both genders.
TIPS
- Watch your body language when in meetings or addressing teams to draw out unconscious anxiety-driven behavior.
- No matter how confident or not you are, speak up with poise and without making apologies for what you have to say. You become good at this by practising until it comes naturally.
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