Couples sometimes go through unexpected seasons that can completely shake the foundations of the relationship. Traumatic events like accidents and illnesses require every bit of strength you have combined, to get through these situations in once piece.
When you go through a sudden event like a miscarriage as a couple, the grief can take a toll on you. And unless you have been in a similar predicament you can truly never understand what it feels like to mourn the loss of an unborn baby until it actually happens.
At this time, you need to allow the healing process to take place fully. This might take months, years, and for some it remains an open wound.
Although the pain never fully goes away, there are certain things you can do as a couple to make this sad experience more bearable.
Be gentle with one another
No one ever plans on what to do in case a miscarriage takes place, unless it has happened before. If it’s never happened, you will probably hope that everything goes smoothly and naturally, you wouldn’t focus on everything negative that might happen.
When it has unfortunately happened, it’s important to be gentle with one another. This is a very emotional time for you both so be patient and try to communicate your needs better to avoid misunderstandings.
Encourage each other
A miscarriage can lead anyone into depression. It’s very emotional and overwhelming and you can even find yourselves taking the blame for what happened when it wasn’t your fault.
To overcome, you really need to offer each other words of encouragement. Women especially need to feel properly supported by their partners this way.
And although the guys don’t know exactly how it feels to physically go through it, they need to be encouraged too because they’re grieving as well.
Don’t rush the process
Some people cope by blocking out those tough emotions during the beginning stages after a miscarriage. But with time, those wounds will open if you haven’t allowed yourself to grieve properly.
You should take your time rather than force yourselves to bounce back to your usual routines too quickly. It’s okay if you just want to stay home and grieve for a while until you feel better.
Accept each other’s journey
People deal with grief differently because we’re not all the same. One of you might prefer to cope by staying busy to avoid being overwhelmed by everything and the other might prefer journaling as a way of healing.
The process might look different for both of you and that’s perfectly fine unless there are any major concerns.
Seek support outside yourselves
During such difficult moments it is a good idea to reach out to someone who can help you deal with what has happened. You can talk to someone close who has been through the same thing or even involve a counsellor or therapist.
You can decide to push through alone and counsel each other but it’s much better to seek some healing from a third party. You can even try and join support groups that can encourage you whether you have experienced a single miscarriage or multiple.
You don’t have to go through this alone as a couple. Reach out for help.