Art of seduction for the single 30-something, career woman

Hi Chris!

My career’s started well, but I want to get married too! But where are all the good men? What does it take to be as successful in the marriage game as I am at work? Could it be that demands of work somehow get in the way? Or that I need a few extra skills to meet the right man?

No Good Men

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Hi No Good Men!

If your work’s limiting your social life, then you should definitely think about your priorities. And don’t just hang out with your girlfriends, your priority is to meet men! Including making small talk with any of the promising men you meet through your work.

Women also manage the whole courtship process. So a polite man won’t start romancing a girl unless she makes it clear that’s what she wants. Which is all about body language.

So, if you find a guy even remotely attractive, you’ll feel a strong urge to look away when his eyes first meet yours. If you fancy him, make sure you look down, with a slight smile on your face. After a moment catch his eye again, perhaps looking a little nervous, and he’ll most likely start a conversation.

Just be courteous. Nothing personal. Open-ended questions that’ll take more than a few words to answer. Just chat as if you’re friends, and enjoy the moment!

Be confident, self-assured, and make it clear from the start that you’re looking for a serious relationship. Don’t be tempted to just hang out, or get sucked into some sort of friends with benefits arrangement!

Most men want to be faithful. But there are others who don’t actually like women that much, and see them as trophies to be used and discarded. Guys are never serious while they’re young. And those that are still single at 35 are becoming ‘permanent bachelors.’ And it goes without saying that you shouldn’t go out with married men, no matter what they promise! In other words, don’t waste your time on any guy who fits into one of the high risk ‘no commitment’ categories.

That’s not to say that all men can be categorised that easily. Some are just slow to get going, maybe because they lack social skills, or have been hurt by previous relationships. Sticking with one of them might be worthwhile.

And if you’re happy together after about a year, make sure he knows what you want. Because men rarely ask a girl to marry them unless they know she wants a proposal - and is planning to say ‘Yes!’

All the best,

Chris Hart