How to keep a breakup classy and cruel-free

I was reviewing my past relationships a couple of weeks ago and I realised I’d been a total flake at breakups. Basically, I was a coward about letting the guys I dated go. I couldn’t face them and just tell them that it was over between us. More often than not, I ghosted them or did it over text. You can imagine how awkward this gets when you bump into each other months later.

So I thought I’d write this ‘guide’ on how to end it in a classy, cruel-free way which leaves room for being friends later on.

1. Give them a heads up

Don’t just up and tell them it’s over. Under normal circumstances, you’ll both see the end of your relationship coming, weeks even months in advance. If this isn’t the case, it’s absolutely cruel to pretend that you’re fine one minute and then the next you’re bombarding your future ex with the sudden news that the relationship isn’t working for you.

2. Do it in person

Make it a point to meet up with your partner when you decide to end it. Be sure to do it at a time and in a place that is comfortable for the two of you. Remember, when you started dating you made it a point to actually meet so why not give them the same courtesy when the relationship ends.

3. Give an explanation

We all want to learn from our mistakes. So if you feel your partner wronged you in any way, explain it to them. Be sure that when you leave that place, he (or she) understands why the relationship wasn’t working for you. Be as honest as possible.

4. Be polite about it

In the same vein, don’t be rude. Be empathetic. Think about how you’d like someone to break up with you and apply the same words and tone. Don’t be hurtful, even if he doesn’t deserve the sympathy.

5. Allow him to respond

Avoid dropping a bombshell and running. Sit there and listen as he responds. Unless your partner was violent, he deserves the opportunity to defend himself.

Some people will take time to process what you’ve said and might ask to meet at a later date to talk. Don’t deny them the opportunity to get closure.

6. Actually break up

The biggest mistake we all make is allowing an ex to hang around. If you decide to break up with someone, do actually create some distance between the two of you. Avoid phone calls, texts, checking out their social media or even an occasional romp in the sack. This will make it even harder for the two of you to move on.

Do you have any tips on how to keep a breakup classy?