What should I never compromise in love?

Hi Chris,

I expected there to be a lot of compromise in my marriage, so I learned to make concessions. However, I’m starting to feel like I’m giving up too much. Are there any things I should never compromise on?

Too Much?

Chris says,

Hi, Too Much?!

Yes, there are! For example, your dreams and your rights. You should also feel safe with your husband, so never compromise on any form of abuse, no matter how minor.

You should have an equal say in everything that affects your marriage. Speak up if you don't feel you need to.

You and your husband will inevitably have different attitudes towards life, but no one has the right to make you compromise your values to fit in with theirs.

Never compromise on honesty and openness because they are essential for a good marriage. Neither of you should keep secrets from each other, and you should both feel able to raise any issue without fear of judgment or criticism. You must also have whatever level of personal privacy you need. This could mean having a little private time for yourself, such as taking a walk or keeping a completely personal journal. Your husband has no right to snoop on your phone!

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You have a right to physical and emotional intimacy. Speak up straight away if you’re beginning to feel lonely or neglected.

It’s important to spend time with your family and friends. Obviously, you shouldn’t prioritise them over your husband. But, in turn, he shouldn’t try to restrict your access to them. Don’t tolerate any controlling or insecure behaviour.

Your husband should support you in achieving your goals and aspirations. If he starts asking you to compromise on those, you’ll definitely come to grief sooner or later.

No matter how great it feels to be in a relationship, you mustn’t lose sight of what makes each of you special. It was your differences that attracted you to each other in the first place. If you want your marriage to last, you need to stay unique!

All the best,

Chris