Confessions: I'm pregnant at 45 and can’t stop worrying about it - Evewoman


Confessions: I'm pregnant at 45 and can’t stop worrying about it

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Dear Coleen,

I’m six months pregnant and I’m 45.

It came as a huge shock to my husband and me, even though we never used contraception.

Both of us just assumed that I was too old to conceive naturally. Wrong!

We’ve been having sex for years without contraception since our youngest child was born, and I’ve never got pregnant.

We have two teenage children – a girl of 15 and a boy of 13 – and I certainly wasn’t planning on having any more.

I went back to working full time a few years ago when my son started secondary school and my life is pretty settled and happy.

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Luckily, I’ve been told the baby is healthy and everything is how it should be, which is obviously a huge relief, but I’m still so afraid of it all.

I’m really worried about the birth, about how I’ll cope ­afterwards, about being 50 when my child starts school... the list goes on.

My husband is shocked but happy and is far more philosophical than I am.

He says we’ll muddle through and that we’ve done it all before, but I literally wake up most nights in a cold sweat.

Can you make me feel any better?

Coleen says:

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I get it – it must feel like going back in time to your first pregnancy and all the fears you had then because it’s been such a long time since you had a baby.

I think your worries are quite natural, but I also think you should express them – tell your doctor how you’re feeling and get reassurance.

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Once they’re out there and you can talk about them with other people, they don’t have the same power.

Regarding being older, thanks to fertility treatment, so many women are having babies in their 40s or trying to.

So, by the time your child starts school, I’m not sure you will stand out at the school gates as the oldest mum – in fact, there may well be mums a couple of years older than you.

You’ve certainly beaten the odds in fertility terms.

It’s wonderful news your baby is healthy and, because you are older, the professionals involved will take extra precautions.

By the time the birth comes round, you will have had enough of being pregnant and just want to get on with it.

I had a painless birth with my daughter, Ciara, after opting for an epidural, and there was no pain at all.

I was 36 when I had her and in my early 20s when I had my sons.

I think I was a better parent when I was older. I was way more relaxed.

Your kids are at an age where they can help and also do things for themselves, and I’m sure your husband will be supportive, too.

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