Girl code: What happened to the real men? - Evewoman

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Girl code: What happened to the real men?

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What happened to our good old, robust, masculine and wide-chested African men who know their place in society? I mean those who used to exercise authority over situations, both big and small?

Some of the young men who will soon be running this universe and are asking for our hands in marriage can only be compared to roaches when the lights are switched on in the wee hours of the night. Just have a close look at them especially on social media, always looking for attention from all angles.

If they are not checking into imaginary airports, they are basking in imaginary sand beaches, chopping imaginary thousands of shillings that are about to be phased out by the government.

Before you hurl a sharp pointed rock at my poor bald head, if this doesn’t reflect who you are, hold it right there, you are safe. It only means you are among those suitors roaming these streets not knowing your worth. If you can buy pizza, carry it on the back left side of your machine, switch on your car stereo and drive home without filling people in on every step of it on social media, trust me, you are the one we are looking for. You are that kind of species that’s about to become instinct.

Some men these days are not giving us any breathing space on these streets. Some of them are so close to going live on social media while withdrawing their cash from the ATM and making funny faces. I am not saying men should not let it all out, but seriously, what will women do if men are out there parading their ‘beautiful feathers’? Women are the ones who should be slaying as much as we want while men watch our backs.

So what if something happens to your woman while you are still posing for a photo next to the security check at the airport smiling with all your teeth out like a basking crocodile? What if she get kidnapped at the pizza joint while you are still taking a selfie with your chicken periperi double stacked with extra toppings?

Trust me, you wouldn’t even want to see such men leaving the fast food joints walking to their cars. You would think its Jean-Claude van Dame walking off a movie set after successfully pulling the most horrific stunt. They walk with their noses held up high while calculating their steps like supermodels on the runway.

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Just what went wrong with those men who used to walk like Goliath, minding no one as long as they got to their destination? Those who ran the show without telling the whole world? Those who gave the women the opportunity to cheer them on as they conquered the world? These days, women barely have the opportunity to cheer on their men because they have already hit the road on the wrong gear! Before you realise it, he has hit another confused fellow head-on!

We are yearning for those African men who held themselves together during disagreements. We are tired of men who resort to wailing in sharp and shrill voices whenever someone has a different opinion. We are looking for those men who hovered over their families protectively like the hen does to its chicks -- not those who will take off at the sight of danger then limp back later asking how it all went while he was away trying to look for help.

Where are those humans whose chests are wide enough to make a woman go with him, denying her father bride price? A strong wind must have blown this part of the universe carrying with it all the real men. When these men drove us in their cars, we could comfortably fall sleep in the passenger seat. Nowadays, some men drive as though they are on a mission to finish mankind.

I know some people, might say this is a tall order, but I have faith that someday, Prince Charming, will return to these streets. For now, allow us to watch from a distance as we sip banana juice...or maybe apple, whatever! Just let us sip some juice as we watch you rock and roll.

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