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Seeking money to fund a wedding is an insult

Lady Speak
 Photo; Courtesy

Every woman's dream (well, most) is to one day walk down the aisle humming that dream love song that makes her fall in love again and again. Lifting her eyes to peep through that veil covering her face and smiling at all who have come to witness her big day.

We all have dreams and we work hard to achieve them; achieving our dreams is one thing and bothering people while at it is another. Most women have resorted to giving their fiancées unnecessary pressure immediately marriage is mentioned.

Women must learn that a white wedding does not necessarily mean 'happily ever after'. As women, we must learn to cut our coats according to our sizes. The number of wedding invitation cards that come with charges are on the rise. Equally, wedding committees are no longer just meant to help a couple plan their wedding but also milk dry those who attend them.

Gone are the days when someone would smile after being appointed a member of a wedding committee. These days, any time you are invited for a wedding committee, for the sake of the hosts, you maintain a broad smile on your face but scream your lungs out inside your heart.

As Africans, we were brought up to be accommodating and embrace help even when it is being abused. We, therefore, put on a happy face and accept to be abused because of friendship. If only we were brought up to bravely say NO and still remain good friends.

Asking for money to settle a medical bill is one thing... asking for money to settle your wedding bills is an insult to humanity. Who made it compulsory anyway? If you don't have enough money for a white wedding, you can go the traditional way or go to the Attorney General.

You will still have a certificate. Better still, you can still do a white wedding years into your marriage and no one will penalize you. Women push their men into planning for functions beyond their control. Some of these women decide to go for extravagant services yet they know well their budget is limited and they are seeking financial help.

It is one thing for your friends or workmates to come together and contribute willingly and its another thing to bombard people's phones with messages reminding them to pay for a service they did not plan for. The other weekend, I attended a wedding committee and I will quote the bride, "Our budget is Sh800,000 and we have Sh300,000. Kindly help us raise Sh500,000." Really?

Woe unto you if you fail to attend any of these committees. You will be charged a fine for absenteeism and your phone will constantly beep with a reminder to pay any dues and pledges.

Subjecting your friends to compulsory payments of your extravagant functions is totally unacceptable. Women, as much as walking down the aisle in that Cinderella gown is all we dream of, let us learn to live within our limits.

Before you send those bulk messages to your 'friends' to ask them to fund your wedding, please sit down, take a minute with their shoes and 'Uliza Kiatu'.

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