There rise of threesomes: Chilling confessions from young people who don’t believe in sexual exclusivity : Evewoman - The Standard
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There rise of threesomes: Chilling confessions from young people who don’t believe in sexual exclusivity

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  • As uneasy a thought as it may sound, there is a growing trend among young people who agree to share intimate partners
  • The chilling confessions here are from young people who don’t believe in sexual exclusivity.

  In this twisted romance, one ends up in a relationship with multiple partners or have two intimate partners. Alex is a 26-year-old banker who started dating Daisy, 24, three years ago. A year into the relationship, they started living under one roof as their love affair progressed.

Daisy happens to have a best friend, Faith; the two having been through high school and campus together. They share everything; from clothes, make-up, shoes and even phones.

These two are literally inseparable. However, the friendship was to go through big test when Faith got attracted to Alex one night when she slept over at Alex and Daisy’s place. This is a story of twisted romance. That night, as the three were having drinks in a club, Daisy and Faith got involved in a chit-chat with Faith expressing herself and saying how she had grown to like Alex. Daisy didn’t mind the thought. She encouraged them to have a dance together and by the time they were leaving for home, it was all a love triangle of sorts.

“The truth is that that night, I slept with both girls and none of us seemed to mind it at all. Daisy seemed easy with it. In fact, as I was getting involved with Faith, she was in bed with us, ‘cheering us on’” says Alex. Since then, Alex has been dating both girls. As much as he still lives with Daisy, he takes days out at Faith’s house, with Daisy in full knowledge of this. “Our relationship is all about intimacy and commitment towards each other. At first, it all looked weird.

I thought to myself, unless I get honest with Daisy, I will end up cheating on her as I would still do it again and so we decided to be open about it,” remarks Alex. And these three are not the only ones involved in such a relationship. A number of young adults have confessed to Pulse as having engaged in such an affair, whereby they engage more than one romantic partner.

In this, an individual may have relationships of varying degrees of intimacy with multiple others or have two intimate partners who aren’t themselves sexually involved. At the same time, established love mates are forming quads, what previously was referred as couple swapping. “I have been dating my boyfriend for about four years now. He has another girlfriend who is known to me. As much as I don’t have another man, I have accepted the fact that we can both co-exist like this. The thing is that we see love and romance from a difference perspective. We believe in polyamory. It is better that cheating,” says Roselyn, a university student in her fourth year.

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“During some weekends, she comes over to the house where we all bond and make merry. She is a nice person and we have grown to be good friends,” she notes. Asked if this kind of polygamous affair would lead to marriage she says: “It’s not really that. It is not like being polygamous. It is an arrangement. How far this will go only God knows, but we are happy this way.” “I think this is some sort of fantasy where young people simply want to explore their sexual desires. Many would see it as taboo or simply immoral but there can be a whole broader perspective to the thought. It can be a fetish or a liberation idea, a thought to explore,” says psychologist Betty Mutie.

Two sisters posing together. Stories of twisted romance are on the rise with individuals freely sharing intimate partners

“I have been involved in such an arrangement but mine cannot be called polyamory. My girlfriend had this crazy desire to watch me having sex with her friend and so she created the opportunity. It was a one off. This happens in campus a lot where guys swipe girlfriends and vice versa. But these are mostly one offs,” says Drake, a university student.

Not all young people are relaxed about the thought of sharing partners or having more than one partner in such a polyamory arrangement. “I once saw my friend share photos of her having a romantic engagement with another man to her boyfriend and that was a real shocker to me. How on earth do you get to that point where your boyfriend can agree to the fact that you are sleeping with another man and he still likes it,” wonders Grace, 26.

She adds: “This is as humiliating as a man imagining that his wife is sleeping with another man. I think this is a grossly erotic idea that is misplaced. “The fact is that many guys like the sound the world threesome brings but how many will want to imagine their girlfriends have one. That is how I look at this kind of affair,” she concludes.

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