Why are men naturally Suspicious of Paternity?

Who your newborn resembles is a well-liked conversation, and since it is socially accepted, everyone likes to chip in; be it at the delivery room, birthday parties or the family portrait hanging on your living room wall. It is somewhat ironic how a child turns out, after carrying a child for nine grueling months it’s understandable to expect some level of loyalty - at least look like me, but nine months later your bundle of joy could look nothing like you or your partner.

I have noticed that striking resemblance to a parent summons a primal chest thumping, as if implying one outdid the other. This could have something to do with dominant genes tramping recessive ones, or it could be due to a certain myth that alludes sexual prowess at the time of conception. We might never know. In contrast, lack of resemblance unconsciously invites doubt and whispers, and this is especially true if it is to the father. Add to this all those well-meaning visitors who act as facial recognition apps:

 ‘Oh my! He looks exactly like his mother!’

?

‘Mmmhhh… I don’t see any resemblance, maybe he has your eyes’

‘I don’t think she takes after any of you’

A story is told of a young couple who were struggling to get children. One day, on her way from work, the wife was assailed and raped. This traumatic event devastated the couple, more so when they found out the wife was pregnant. The timing was too close, bringing up paternity concerns, but no one ventured into it. They got a baby boy and loved him unconditionally even though as he grew, he portrayed traits that roused more doubt. He was chubby, red haired and soft tempered; compared to his outspoken, athletically built brunette parents. A few years later, unable to overcome the trauma of the rape, the couple divorced. The man tried to maintain a relationship with his son, but the demons of the past led him to the bottle. Looking to create a stable environment for their son, the ex-wife filed for sole custody and used the questionable paternity to make a strong case. The man, always haunted that the child could belong to the rapist, begged her not to reveal the results to the child, hoping his son would always know him as his father. In return he vowed not to fight the custody case and gave away his parental rights. The man passed on a few years later and the ex-wife finally looked at the results, only to find out that he was a 99.9% match to their son!

Maternity is unassailable but paternity is a different ball game all together. Studies have shown that fathers are naturally suspicious of paternity, giving the widely used line, “are you sure it’s mine?” scientific back up. Add to this lack of resemblance to the offspring, and they will downright deny parentage. It is quite unfortunate that short of a DNA test, the only way a man can tell a child is his boils down to blind trust, or at the very least some physical, mental or even emotional traits resembling his. In the case none of these is evident, they will forever doubt the child is theirs.