I tell my girl to love herself

The world today is changing at a fast pace but some things seem to remain the same.

When I was in my teens, the most common talk was dealing with peer pressure. But in elementary years my mother’s emphasis was nutrition and discipline.

I was always getting punished for not finishing my meals and I believe that my lack of appetite was heightened by the combination of attending boarding school in my formative years and constant nagging to finish my meals.

I was a picky eater and did not like to breastfeed as an infant . . . and this led to numerous trips to the hospital.

Thus my petite frame which I believe is mainly genetic and does not bother me....except when I am underweight.

I learnt a while back to appreciate the way God created me and to write the truth, I had plenty of benefits in boarding school because of it.

For instance, I got lots of hand-me-downs from fellow students. Some fetched water for me, while others gave me food. Many teachers were uneasy about caning my small frame  because it pricked their conscience. As our daughter approaches puberty, she has had to deal with the same comments as I did growing up. Being called ‘kadogo’ or ‘shorty’ hurts her feelings. We live  in a world where looks count more than personality.

But I have tried  to prepare her to steel herself ever since she was born because I knew she would probably face the same stigmatised characterisation as I did.

Though she is petite, she has such a warm personality. 

She attracts friends like a magnet and we have met new people because of her sanguine nature.

SMALLEST BABIES

I have often shared my childhood experiences with her in the hope it will build her self-confidence and help her stand up for herself.

I told her that people will often have  different opinions but it is her self-opinion that matters most.

When she was born, the nurse told me that my daughter was one of the two smallest babies in the nursery. 

She then told me to love my  daughter unconditionally and that size was irrelevant.

Later on, she took me to the nursery and showed me a beautiful big healthy baby.

She then turned the baby and I saw the bandaged back. The baby was born with a malformed spinal cord.

“The most important thing about birth  isn’t the weight of the baby, but that both mother and child are healthy,” she said.

That nurse truly taught me a valid lesson . . . the lesson of loving a child unconditionally.

I have therefore raised our child to accept and love herself.

 When I look at her today her birth weight does not feature; what is more important is her character,  talent, dreams and the fact that she a gift from God.

Everytime she starts to second guess herself I ask her to look at me.

To see that after living more than four decades by God’s grace I am still here and living my dreams.

She is learning to  accept herself as she is.

To celebrate her family tree and genes without owing anyone an explanation. To learn that in our difference we find diversity. 

Ruth Graham said, “when two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary.”