Dear Coleen: My husband is so boring I find myself tempted by other men - Evewoman
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Between The Sheets

Dear Coleen: My husband is so boring I find myself tempted by other men

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Dear Coleen

My relationship is so mundane and I’m at the point where I want to do something crazy just to shake it up. It’s frustrating in every area!

I’ve been with my husband for six years and we’ve been married for four. We don’t have any kids yet, although it’s something we’ve talked about.

He loves routine and everything is run by it – we have sex on certain nights of the week, we have the same meals on the same nights every week, we go to the same places on holiday and so on. He even buys the same shoes and clothes he always has – it’s like anything different scares him.

Recently, I’m ashamed to say, I’ve been looking at other guys a lot because of this. I’ve tried to get him to break out of his routine and do something crazy like go out for dinner on a Saturday night instead of having spaghetti bolognese in front of the telly, but he won’t have it.

I guess I was probably happy doing those things at first, but now I’m not. I’m bored.

He’s a lovely guy – everyone says so – and at first things were exciting, but we’re like an old married couple long before our time. We’re both still only 28. Help!

Coleen says

Hey, don’t knock old married couples – most of them are probably having more fun than you right now! OK, on a serious note, I think you’re just in a rut – him more than you, obviously.

He’s way too comfortable, to the point where he’s jeopardising the future of your relationship and that’s what you need to get across to him – how seriously you’re taking it.

If kids are something you both want, you really need to cram in the fun now because when a baby comes along you won’t get the chance to do that stuff. Not for a while, anyway.

Go out for a meal (don’t take no for an answer) and tell him how you feel. You could even tell him you’re being tempted by other guys because the romance has dropped out of your relationship.

As with all habits, it’s hard to break out of a relationship rut, but it can be done! You need to put stuff in the diary, not just have a vague idea that you might go out on Saturday night. Take turns to plan stuff and stick to it.

Once you get on a roll, he might find he’s been missing the excitement, too. Don’t do anything silly until you’ve given things a proper go with your marriage.

 

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