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He keeps telling me that he loves me and that eventually we’ll be together properly but it’s been five months and he still hasn’t left her
Dear Coleen
Five months ago I started a relationship with a man at work. I’m 25 and he’s 33.
I knew he had a girlfriend when I first started seeing him but he told me they weren’t getting along and were in the process of breaking up.
It’s been five months now and he still hasn’t left her.
First he told me she refused to move out and then her granddad died so he couldn’t leave her until things had calmed down. That was two months ago and he still hasn’t left her.
She doesn’t know anything about us and I’m never allowed to call him.
We never see each other at the weekend and he can never stay over at my flat. He comes round, we have sex and then he leaves.
He keeps telling me that he loves me and that eventually we’ll be together properly but I’m not sure how much longer I can carry on like this. What should I do?
Coleen says
The running theme throughout your letter is, ‘When is he going to leave her?’
But what I want to know is, when are you going to leave him?
This guy has strung you along for five months, having exciting and forbidden sex with you while still staying with his girlfriend. He’s having his cake and eating it.
You also have to ask yourself that if he leaves his girlfriend tomorrow do you really want to be with him?
Do you really want to be with a man who can cheat on his live-in girlfriend for five whole months?
Because if he can do it to her he can do it to you too, and there’s every chance that he will.
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