I am in love with two men and I am dating both of them

 A few months ago I met a man who helped me get a job and we fell in love although he is married.

Later on I met another man where I was working, he helped me house hunt and he has been supporting me now that  my job ended last month.

The problem is that I am in love with both men and I am dating both of them. I don’t know what to do because I need both of them but I know what I am doing is wrong. Help me please... {Peris}

Your Take

Peris, you only like them based on what they have done for you. This means even a third man with better material could also get your attention. If they found out they would never trust you again. Decide who you want, love him genuinely and remain honest to him before things get bad.

{Tasma Charles}

Make sure you don’t break the homes of either of those men. Otherwise leave both and look for another man to be your husband. Let them remain as friends and never date them again.

{Bildad Khachula}

Take time to be clear to yourself about who you are and what you want. The most important relationship you’ll ever have in this world is the one you have with yourself. Be careful not to date married men because you may destroy their marriages. If they are married then know you are a trespasser. It is no different from being a thief in the night. If you’re putting your life on hold for a married man, he’s not only stolen your heart — he’s stolen your brain.

{Andrew Didy Chaplin}

You are only infatuated with both men. If you were in love with either of the two, you would be sure about your feelings for them so I advise that you either have one or neither of them but not both.

{Dennis Mugendi Peter}

Keeping both men is dangerous. Take yourself off these two men and the whole drama and think about what you really need in life. Choose one, stick to him, love him genuinely and if possible get married to him because as things stand, you are a playing the hyenas game. Remember a thief only has 40 days and yours may end very soon.

{Ouma Ragumo}

Have you considered taking a HIV test and do you know the status of these men? If not then you do it as soon as you can. Choose one man and stay with him but also go for the one who isn’t married. Be true to yourself because there’s no way you can be in love with two people at the same time.

{Onyango Outha}

The first guy (married) found a soft landing on your desperate situation and made a move to convince you of his love knowing that you won’t reject his ill motives. Give the other guy the nod of life to marry you and give him the love that he deserves. Make it genuine love because the love that is based on material support alone can never stand the test of time. Play your cards carefully knowing that you can only be happy if you get into a genuine relationship.

{Charles Olanya}

COUNSELLOR'S TAKE

eris, you very well know what is going on here only that you don't want to admit and do the right thing. You are dating these two men because they are good for you not because you are in love with them. As a matter of fact you may not be in love with either of them and may only like them because they help you sort out the difficult things in your life which include getting you a job, paying your rent e.t.c.

As you enjoy that little game you are playing there, I wish to share with you some of the potential risks you are exposing yourself to. Knowing the men of this world and particularly the men of this country, neither of them is doing this for the sake of helping.

They are helping you because they consider you to be their girlfriend. I am also certain that you are satisfying their sexual appetite thus exposing yourself to many risks such as contracting sexually transmitted infections (including HIV), getting pregnant and not knowing whose child it is and even losing both men were they to find out about your mischievous behaviour.

Dealing with two men at the same time must be very exhausting for you. Why do you keep risking to lose both while you can keep one and somewhat motivate him to provide for you as they both would? The bare truth about these issues is that you cannot hide a secret relationship forever.

They will both find out someday and that will be the last time you will get to see either of them. In addition to this, you don't want to be labelled as the lady who sleeps with many men (for not wanting to use other terms) and this may be inevitable with time. Remember it is not they who will go talking about this but your neighbours and these have potential to make such juicy news spread like bush fire.

For your own sake, leave these dark and evil ways and develop a strong character for yourself. If a man develops trust in you, they will continue supporting you but if they lose it, they can also make things very rough for you. Get on to the straight and narrow road and develop a good character for yourself and you will never regret it.

{Taurus}