My friend is dating a guy in a long term relationship.

Dear Coleen,

My friend is seeing someone who is in a long-term relationship and I’m worried she’s going to get hurt.

She started seeing this guy a few months ago, knowing that he was already with someone else.

I have tried talking to her, explaining that I think it’s a mistake and that she will be the one who gets hurt.

She has been cheated on before, so she knows how it feels to be on the receiving end, but it doesn’t seem to faze her at all.

She keeps saying she thinks he would leave his girlfriend for her but surely he would have done so by now and not left it for so many months? I am worried he is playing her as much as he is playing his girlfriend.

I know my friend is wrong for what she’s doing but I still worry she’ll get hurt again. What can I say that will convince her to give up on this loser and find someone who really does care about her and wants to be with her for more than just a bit on the side?

I have told her that no matter what happens, I’m her friend and will be there for her.

But it makes me feel really uncomfortable when she brings up the subject because I don’t agree with what she is doing. However, I don’t want it to affect our friendship either.

Coleen says.

All you can do is say the logical thing to her and hope that at some point it sinks in. Unfortunately, she’s wrapped up in the romance and excitement of it all.

I don’t think this guy will leave his girlfriend either – he is clearly a player and is enjoying having his cake and eating it, too.

He’s on to a good thing. Why would he go and spoil it for himself?

If you can convince her to put her emotions aside for a moment, ask her why she thinks he’d behave any differently if he were to leave his girlfriend and go out with her. My guess is that he’d start cheating on her, too.

It’s lovely that you’re standing by your friend but all you can really do is say your piece and then leave it. And if she does get her heart broken, be there to help pick up the pieces.

In my opinion, she ought to dump him. The bottom line is, if he really likes her, he’ll leave his girlfriend and try to win her back. If he doesn’t, then she knows for sure that he’s just a two-timing git who wants the best of both worlds.