Confessions: I think I am a negative person; how do I change this year?

Hi Chris,

You know the way some people can just suck the life out of you, while others feel so positive? I have recently become much more aware of how some of my friends suck all the energy out of a room!

They are so negative that they make me feel tense and on edge, so I cannot wait to get away from them. That is relatively easy to deal with because I can easily arrange to spend less of my time around them.

But then I started wondering if I might be doing the same thing. Because I think I have been picking up the bad habits of my negative friends. So how do I make sure that I too do not drive people away?

Positive Energy

Chris says,

Hi Positive Energy!

Indeed, negativity does put people off. So if you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, just stop. Intentionally focus on the positive things happening in your life.

Because everyone is attracted to someone who is optimistic and enjoying life. People start checking you out, good things start happening to you, you gain more friends, and they treat you better.

Start being more positive by being generous with your smile. Think you can only smile when you feel good? The reverse is also true. If you are feeling negative, fake a smile for a minute or so and it will quickly become genuine.

Start talking with people you meet straight away. It does not have to be a conversation, just a quick comment will do. Because the longer you wait the harder it is to get into a chatty mood.

And use positive words throughout all your conversations. Especially words like thank you, I agree, and I love. Stop comparing yourself to others, and instead focus on what is good about you and your life.

Treat others well. Hold the door for the person behind you. Let other cars into the traffic. Be friendly to the cashier. You will notice that other people will start being much nicer to you in return.

If someone says something rude, keep cool. Wish them a good day and leave. Stop agonising over what other people think of you. Do things that make you feel really good.

Dress well, eat and drink healthily, get enough sleep and exercise regularly. Maintain a consistent and simple daily routine, including the time that you go to bed. And get up early!

So that by the time other people are awake, you have already done loads. Make everything about getting up a pleasure: allow plenty of time to get ready for work, have something you enjoy for breakfast, and spend a little extra to have nice soap and so on in the bathroom.

Become more assertive. Do not be afraid to ask for what you want or speak your mind. Tackle conflict head-on. Let people know what you want and why you want it, and you will feel happier and stronger. And more positive about life!

All the best,

Chris