Falling in love is easy. Keeping the relationship going for years until death do you part is the hard part.
Are you willing to work for it?
Good relationships take work from both parties. There are some days you will wake up and wonder how you ever fell in love with that person after they hurt you or let you down.
Issues are part of life and will always pop up in relationships including yours. The secret is not to dwell on them but work through them in a meaningful way.
That said, here are other tips you can incorporate into your relationship to ensure it never comes to an end no matter the situation at hand.
Pick your battles
This is probably one of the oldest pieces of advice in the love book. Choose when to bring up touchy subjects. No matter how annoyed or disappointed you are, gauge the situation and your partner’s mood.
- READ MORE
- 1. Six signs you are getting over someone
- 2. Bad bachelor: Weekend with Gina, Ina, Gin
- 3. How to be a partner that everyone admires
- 4. Five conflict management tips in relationships
Some things don’t need to be brought in front of family and friends or at a public place just because you feel the need to discuss it there and then.
You should set aside a convenient time for both of you where no one is distracted, hungry, tired or boozed up. This will only irritate the other person, making the situation worse.
In other scenarios, take five and think about if it is worth bringing it up. After calming down and thinking rationally you may realize perhaps you were overreacting or escalating the situation.
When it comes to issues affecting relationships, remember it is not you versus him or vice versa. It is the two of you against the problem. When handling problems with that in mind chances are you will not argue or escalate the argument into other things.
If there is something you’re unhappy about or you would like your partner to do for you, make time to talk about it calmly and rationally and find a solution. Things that are bottled up always find a way to come up during fights.
Keep the romance alive
Show me one person that doesn’t like sweet gestures and I’ll show you a liar. We all love it when people go out of their way to do something for us no matter how small it may be.
The same way you used to go for candle lit dinners and surprise each other with sweet notes, keep the momentum going.
Doing something special for your partner brings them closer to you and chances are, they will also go out of their way to do something sweet for you too.
Give without expecting
Don’t always expect to receive from your partner. Sometimes you also have to go out of your way and give without expecting anything in return.
For instance, if you know she is coming home late from work, you can take up ordering dinner or cooking. That way, she will feel appreciated and valued. From that small gesture, the mood in the house will be upbeat and you will be reaping good results days after.
Forgive each other
We all make mistakes. If there has been a breach of trust, one must take full responsibility and make it right. The partner who has been wronged should also give the other one a chance to gain back their trust.
This will only work if you truly forgive them and give them space to work through what they did wrong without fear of judgement.
Learn to listen more and talk less. When your partner is expressing their emotions, this is not the time to interrupt, defend yourself or offer unsolicited solutions. Sometimes all your wife needs is a person she can vent to.