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How to spot and stop jealousy

Relationships - By Esther Muchene | January 19th 2021 at 10:00:00 GMT +0300
Jealousy is a form of insecurity that can actually lead to some serious consequences (Shutterstock)

The green-eyed monster is one of the most destructive emotions humans experience and the truth is, we can all relate.

It’s a form of insecurity that can actually lead to some serious consequences when not dealt with from the root.

It’s impossible to have a healthy, long lasting relationship when jealousy issues are involved. It shows a lack of trust and such issues need to be urgently addressed.

This is what to look out for, and some tips on what you can do to kick the jealousy out of your life for good, particularly in your relationships.

  1. Petty arguments

Couples have those moments when they're not on the same page. Disagreements can sprout out of nowhere but there are some arguments that just don’t make sense at all.

Some of the unnecessary causes can be liking someone else’s pictures on Instagram or even looking at someone at the mall in a way that was perceived as suggestive. If you're constantly having these petty fights, then the main cause could be jealousy.

You can deal with this by assessing some of the insecurities you both might have and openly communicate on the things you need to work on.

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  1. Stalking

Stalking is a huge red flag in relationships. It’s okay to want to know what your partner is up to but that’s not an excuse to over analyse where they are, who they are with and what they're doing at every given moment.

This can also apply to social media stalking where either of you want to know every single friend on their list.

Stalking behaviours are never okay because this is actually a sign of control.

Assess how serious the situation is and decide if it’s something you can get past as a couple.

It’s impossible to have a healthy, long lasting relationship when jealousy issues are involved (Shutterstock)
  1. Success envy

When either of you succeed, there should be mutual trust that you’re genuinely happy for each other. And either way, when one person succeeds, it’s a win for both of you.

If there is any envy whenever something good happens to the other, there is a problem.

You can deal with this type envy by working on your own success. The genuine appreciation for each other will flow out as long as it’s not an attempt to outshine each other.

  1. Attention seeking tactics

There are many signs that show how someone is feeling by what they do or even what they post.

They will conveniently post themselves doing something fun without you or say some unusual comments to trigger you.

These petty habits will ruin a perfectly good relationship. It’s better to talk to your partner about your worries instead of sending subliminal messages.

  1. No friends of the opposite sex

Feeling triggered when your partner hangs out with a friend of the opposite sex is not a good sign. It means there will always be tension and fights even when either of you is having a meeting with a co-worker.

It’s not normal to feel threatened whenever the attention isn't on you because that's a huge insecurity problem.

In case there have been cheating issues in the past, work on building trust and confidence in the relationship so that you both get the reassurance you need.


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