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How to heal after a broken friendship

Relationships - By Esther Muchene
Heartbreak also happens when a friendship ends (Shutterstock)

Experiencing a breakup with a friend is no joke. I know most people associate heartbreak with romantic relationships but it can also happen when a friendship ends.

Going through this journey is often hard whether you’re the one that messed up or if your ex-friend was the one who crossed the line.

Either way, you have to figure out how you can peacefully move on and let them go.

Here are some of the things you can do to deal with the heartbreak.

  • Appreciate the good memories

Once upon a time, things were great between you and your ex-friend. There’s no way you can forget the good times and that’s just a way of humbling yourself and appreciating the times they were good to you.

This doesn’t mean that you have to allow them back into your life though. It’s just a way of accepting that they were there for you at one point in time.

  • Head into your healing cocoon

This experience won’t be easy at all. It can put a dent on your emotions, which also makes it hard to concentrate on your daily duties.

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Don’t feel guilty if you need to stay indoors for a while, if you need to cry to let it all out, or if you need to stay away from social media for some time.

Remember, you don’t need to apologize or explain to anyone why you’ve been low key of late.

  • Let time heal you

You can’t really put a deadline on your healing time. It can take weeks, months or even years before you finally move on properly. The truth is that no one can truly understand how you feel so don’t feel pressured to accelerate the healing process.

Your friend was a big part of your life so it’s hard to just wake up two days later and expect to be 100% okay.

Your friend was a big part of your life. Don't expect to just wake up two days later and be 100% okay (Shutterstock)
  • Acknowledge the important lessons learnt

We can’t control some of the situations we face in life. However, we can decide to get the most out of them by absorbing the lessons these circumstances teach us.

In this case, try and assess where things went wrong. If you can honestly say that you could have done better, you have the opportunity to be a better friend to those you have around you now.

If they were the ones who did you wrong, you now know what warning signs to look out for whenever you’re dealing with friends.

  • Embrace the transition

If you just broke up with your best friend, it takes time to transition into a new life. Maybe you were used to driving to work or school together or maybe you had a certain weekend routine you both enjoyed.

This is the season when you find your independence once again. You no longer have to rely on someone else so this is empowering in a way.

  • Spend time with family

Nothing can ever replace the love you receive from your family whether it’s your mum, brothers, cousins, aunties or grandparents.

There is that comfort you get from knowing you have those who deeply love you are there for you. This helps you to overcome the bitterness of dealing with friends who weren’t good to you in the first place.

  • Get closure if you need to

It’s up to you to decide if you need to get some closure for your own peace of mind. This is actually a powerful method to help you heal because it allows you to get different perspectives and clarity.

You can choose to meet up one last time to have that needed conversation so that you can release each other and move on in peace.

Although you’re not close friends anymore, you don’t necessarily have to treat each other like enemies.

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