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Home / Relationships

Signs of mpango wa kando? Of Kenyan men who hide their wives

 Photo: Courtesy

I have a male colleague whom I worked with for over three years, and not once did he bother to mention to me or anyone in the office that he was married.

He acted like a single man, and flirted around the office like any other warm blooded man on the prowl. He wore no ring, and had no pictures on his phone or computer to contradict the assumption of him being a bachelor. And not a single word was ever uttered about a wife.

In fact, our lunch time conversations involved discussions of the drama we were experiencing in the “current” dating scene, in our search for perfect matches. That is why I was completely dumb founded when I met him over Easter shopping with his two children and a woman who introduced herself as his wife.

And in case you are wondering how his wife looks, she is actually a beautiful young woman (a bit out of his league if you ask me!). So as you can imagine I was very perturbed as to why he had gone out of his way to hide the existence of his wife, this man had literally wiped her very existence from every facet of his public life.

I did not understand why he did not bother to clarify his status in the office or at least even let this girl in on his little secret, I was completely offended, I mean I am his lunch buddy! Well, apparently, these days married men are all about hiding their wives’ existence.

 Strange behavior

Go on Facebook and there you will find thousands even millions of men who hide their relationship status. They may show pictures of a child or random women, but they don’t use the option of showing their relationship status on Facebook.

In this way, they are not lying, but they are also bypassing the truth. Then in the office set up most men conveniently ‘forget’ to mention that they have a wife or girlfriend.

They are like ninjas, no like the Mossad. They are so professional when it comes to hiding the existence of their wives. And obviously men have many excuses for their strange behavior, and they go something like this: they would feel trapped in marriage, that wives become boring and ‘uncool’ once they cross over into wife territory.

That it is an embarrassment to announce their existence to the world; that they become wide and dress like they are grandmothers once they get the ring, and the excuses go on and on.

Style up

In my book, the only reason why a married man would refuse to wear a ring or inform those around him that he is taken, is because he wants to cheat. Oh yeah, he does not want to spook off potential dates with stories about the existence of a wife.

I have heard so many stories of women who were cheated into dating a married man, and I have a couple of horror stories.

Married men, please style up and wear you rings, and at least have your wife’s picture as the screen saver for your phone or computer, or better yet introduce yourself as married, and please keep off the dating scene!

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