I've gambled off his Sh3M and I'm afraid of what he'll do

My family moved to Nairobi about three years ago and my husband works for a multi-national telecoms company. Our children are in senior high school and I spend most of my time alone since they are boarders. To make myself busy, I started frequenting casinos initially as a social gambler but then as time went by I sort of became addicted. Now I have lost more than Sh3 million of his money to casinos. He doesn't know about this but I guess he will find out soon. I don't know what to do because every time I try to get some of the money back I end up losing more. He is the one who introduced me to gambling for fun but this is now out of hand. He is very strict with money and this may not end well. Please help me. {Natalie J}

Your Take:

The truth will always set you free, no matter how painful it may be. Be open to him and explain the predicament you are in. People learn from mistakes and you ought to have learnt by now.

Apologize to him and try your best to stop. Gambling is a real disease that is very expensive to treat. If it gets difficult to control then you must seek counselling from a professional.

{Ouma Wuod Ragumo}

First of all he introduced you to gambling but it that has now turned into an addition. Accept that money has been lost and be open with him.

Enroll in an anti-gambling program and vow never to engage in gambling related activities in the future. Learn from it and find something more meaningful to do.

{Nathan Kirui}

Addictions are generally progressive in nature so this must have grown to that level. I suggest you change your recreational activity to something more constructive. Remember you have been idle and an idle mind is a devils workshop.

{Andrew Didy Chaplin}

Now that he introduced you to it, I take it that he understands what it is. Take the bold step of telling him what you have gone through. Tell him why you have gone that far and apologize.

You may need his most trusted friend who you had briefed by. Once over this go and don’t look back since a second time mistake may be hard to forgive.

{Tasma Saka}

Three million is a lot of money to lose in a casino. If you don’t seek help soon, you will lose everything and this may even include your marriage. Be wise and try your best to kick this habit out.

{Onyango Outha}

Counselor’s Take:

Every gambler starts as a social gambler. As time goes by, they become more and more attached to it until every thought revolves around the casino.

Compulsive or problem gamblers look at and are convinced that every aspect of their life is based on the gamble. For instance, they look at the liabilities that are due in terms of how many poker or blackjack hands they ought to deal or how many roulette spins they need to win to settle them.

So rather than focus on settling the obligations they set off to the casino often with the little resources they have left and more often than not, they end up losing even that little they have.

It is highly likely that you have lost that much money trying to chase after the money you already lost and you are doing the right thing by seeking help.

It is time you accept that you have a problem and that you have dug yourself into a deep hole. In this life, when you realise you have dug yourself into a hole, the first thing you do is to stop digging and look for ways of getting up and out.

You will need to accept that the money is gone and move towards fixing this situation with your husband. You will then need to carefully reflect on your ability to stop this habit and if you will need help.

Many times people can stop this by themselves and all casinos have a voluntary exclusion programme that you can sign on to and they will not let you gamble again until you revoke it.

 If you try to stop and do not succeed (which is usually by falling back into relapse) then you will may need professional help from an counsellor with numerous experience in handling problem or compulsive gamblers.

I will also take this chance to let you know that gambling has potential to cause enormous problems to people, families and society in general. It has often led to loss of jobs due to lack of concentration, divorce, suicide and many other psychological disorders. With the right kind of help one can overcome the problem and deal with the repercussions.

Bring this issue to light and ask for your husband’s help in dealing with the issue. However, also note that to successfully deal with this, you will have to address the issue of having too much time and nothing to do with it as this is primarily what drove you into gambling in the first place. {Taurus}