How to help your children regulate their emotions

As adults, we often have a hard time understanding how we feel. You might even experience times where what you feel can be best described as ‘just there.’ 

Emotions are a very complex world and you can imagine how challenging it is for kids. They’re still trying to understand themselves and they might not know what to do with their emotions.

That’s where they need your help as their parent because they learn how to regulate their emotions from you. With time, they’ll know how to cope so they won’t feel overwhelmed by their feelings. 

1. Take note of trends and triggers 

Some kids just get angry when they’re hungry or when they’re tired. Others get mad when they don’t get what they want which means they’re used to being spoiled. There are also some who have a hard time regulating their emotions because of an underlying disability which you might not have noticed. There are many factors that create that emotional imbalance and each situation needs to be handled differently. 

If the case is severe, you need to get in touch with a doctor or psychologist to guide you on what to do. Some situations need more work because it might not be a passing phase for them.

2. Create a stable environment for them 

Kids react according to the environment they’ve been exposed to. A healthy home environment nurtures their mental and emotional wellbeing which gives them the right tools to navigate through life. But if they’ve witnessed violence and other forms of instability at home, chances are, they’ll have some problems. The only way you can help them is by raising them without any form of toxicity in the household.

3. Help them become more self-aware

They need you to help them understand themselves better. In fact, it should be like a lesson where you take notes and go through them together. They’ll find the correct words to describe that ‘funny feeling’ they get when they’ve had a hard day at school or any other emotion they might not understand. From there you can write down some healthy coping strategies which they’ll remember whenever they feel enraged or stressed.

4. Acknowledge their feelings 

You should never belittle their feelings when they express themselves. This will only make things worse and those negative experiences will shape their lives in the long run. This will make it harder for them to interact with other people normally. Make them feel safe, loved and understood even when it’s frustrating for you.

5. Be honest with them when they’re wrong 

Letting them express themselves isn’t an excuse for them to misbehave. They need to know that it’s not okay to act out violently or to insult you or others when they’re upset. Children might throw tantrums in the supermarket when they don’t get what they want but being rude shouldn’t be encouraged. Be honest with them when you’re disappointed and tell them what they’re doing is not okay.

6. Have coping strategies of your own

Secure healthy coping mechanisms as you nurture your children. This will prevent you from lashing out at them when they’re not cooperating and it’s also an essential part of self-care. Being a parent is stressful at times and you can protect your own emotional wellbeing by adopting good coping strategies.

Emotions will always be part of life. Everyone feels angry, disappointed, frustrated and you might even throw childish tantrums once in a while. But what glues all your emotions together is a healthy foundation, especially at home. Children discover themselves based on personal experiences and life lessons taught by their parents.