The other day I was surprised by my good friend Anne Muiruri for expressing surprises in the dynamics of the dating scene. She was aghast that men often come bundled with other expectations when they invite women over for in house dates. She had a litany of whining as she decried instances where women face all sorts of ‘unwelcome affection’ from men during such dates.
She even shared personal experience. But for a guru in matters dating, her assertions were rather surprising. Really, Anne, you expected Christmas Carols and a Bible study session?
Let us put matters straight here. When a man invites you over to his place for dinner, he knows very well that you as a woman perhaps can make better food than him, unless he is a chef! So if you are coming for a dinner date at the man’s place and expect that food alone is the only agenda on the table you need to think again.
When a man invites you for food at his house, he is fully aware that you are not starving. For if you were starving you would be under the care of Red Cross and the Government’s fighting hunger programmes.
When he says you come over and share a meal, he is just merely being African.
Most of our social respectable undertakings are done over a cup of tea or shared meal. It’s a sign of mutual willingness to forge forward.
It’s just the same way politicians meet and have tea or lunch as they strategise on holding onto power or how to gain it. It’s the same thing at the dating scene.
There is much more that a man expects and dinner is just a mere footnote in the course list of the night. Furthermore, it is known that many women do not regard food with much reverence since they do not want taking in food that later on deconstructs their body physique and denies them that hour glass look.
So even as he invites you for dinner and you accept, the man knows that you are signing up for what he actually intends for the evening.
She also expressed her reservations about men who will invite you over to watch a movie. Again, let’s face it serious. If a man invites you to his two bedroom flat to watch a movie, does it in your wildest dreams compare to a movie theatre?
If watching a movie was the main thing, he would have asked you that you hook up after work or over the weekend at any of the state of the art cinema halls and watch the latest movies in 3D.
So when he calls you over to his place to watch a movie together, you need not be a nuclear scientist to decode that the movie is merely a minor detail to what the man expects to be a fun-filled action-packed evening.
Similarly, if he calls you over for a drink, then don’t be too sheepish to expect that he could not have enjoyed his whiskey without you.
He could have quenched his thirst, as he has always done countless times. But there is value addition when you partake with someone you genuinely care about and harbour affections for.
If it was just another ordinary drinking session, the man would have asked you out to the thousands of pubs in any major town. So please, when the advances come, don’t act as if you didn’t expect them.
If these advances don’t materialise many women would go home angry wondering whether the man is indeed normal or he is a ‘backdoor’ fellow. Ladies, fine food and wine goes with the good times.