From scandal-ridden to poor folks: Ten types of Kenyan celebrities

Kenyan celebrities come in all forms: from the security-detailed waheshimiwa you would mistake for the President’s son, to the completely broke, matatu-hopping familiar face from a popular TV show. Then there are those on a perpetual cycle of marriage and divorce, while others are almost mythical in their secrecy. Here are ten types of celebrities you are most likely to encounter in Kenya:

1. The show-off

He documents every step of his life for public consumption. From relocating from Eastlands to Runda to buying the latest phone or designer shoes, everything goes straight to social media. A trip to Dubai? Expect a minute-by-minute broadcast, from the boarding gate to the brunch table.

2. Broke like a church mouse

Despite being a familiar face on television, this celebrity can barely make ends meet. You’ll find him dodging attention in matatus, hiding behind oversized sunglasses. His go-to meal comes from the local kibandaski, as he can’t afford a proper sit-down restaurant. On screen, he’s a star; off-screen, he’s hustling like everyone else.

3. The fisi

A walking scandal and self-proclaimed ladies’ man, he won’t hesitate to prey on any beauty in his path. No video vixen, intern, or event hostess is safe. His romantic entanglements are as prolific as his projects, if not more so. He leaves a trail of broken hearts, non-disclosure agreements (NDA), and social media accusations wherever he goes.

4. Short-lived fame

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He had one big viral moment, maybe a song, a skit, or a controversy. But nothing since. His name briefly lit up the entertainment scene, only to fizzle out as quickly as it came. Today, he’s barely remembered and struggles to remain relevant.

5. The proud one

This celebrity believes alifika- they’ve “made it”. They interact only with high society and brush off fans or journalists as beneath them. DMs go unanswered, tags are ignored, and unknown numbers go straight to voicemail. He behaves like a mogul until the industry reminds him otherwise.

6. Scandal-ridden

He thrives on controversy. From eloping with married women to being linked to Ponzi schemes and political gossip, he’s always making headlines on social media and tabloids. For him, scandals are currency, the lifeblood of his celebrity. Without them, he would vanish into obscurity.

7. The cool type

Unbothered by clout or chaos, this celebrity minds his business. He avoids feuds, paparazzi, and industry drama. He is rarely seen at parties and seldom comments on social media gossip. Attempts to drag him into a scandal fall flat; he won’t play the game.

8. The social butterfly

She freely interacts with everyone, regardless of social status. She chats with matatu passengers like old friends and jokes with vendors at events. She’s everyone’s bestie, from boda boda riders to boardroom bigwigs. Always bubbly, always visible, and often the soul of the party, she makes fame look accessible.

9. Marriage commitment-phobic

She’s famously single, or famously married for six months tops. Her relationships are lavish and Insta-worthy, but always short-lived. From glamorous beach weddings to designer divorce statements, her love life is a revolving door with a matching price tag.

10. The secretive

A true mystery. He’s a celebrity, yes, but no one knows a thing about his private life. Who is his wife? How many children does he have? Where does he live? Even Kenya’s top gossip bloggers are in the dark. If you hire a private investigator, good luck; you’ll likely end up with more questions than answers.