Lovers on payroll: Ten types of Ben 10s you will encounter in Kenya

It is an open secret in Kenya: a growing number of young men are actively pursuing relationships with older women—ostensibly for financial gain. These women, colloquially referred to as wamamas, are often well-off, urban, and independent. While many enter these arrangements for companionship, pleasure, or a taste of youthful excitement, more often than not, the story ends in tears. Many wamamas discover—sometimes too late—that the young men they have invested in are not all they appear to be. Here are 10 archetypes of Kenya’s so-called Ben 10s:

1. The player

The quintessential connoisseur of the game. Once he receives his ‘tokens of appreciation’ from the mumama, he swiftly redirects the proceeds to his real girlfriends. He’s in it for convenience, and on occasion, will even host his side partners in the sponsor’s own home. By the time the mumama realises her true place in his heart, the damage—financial and emotional—has already been done.

2. The faithful

Unlike the player, this one stays loyal. Come what may, he remains steadfastly committed to his mumama, offering her the emotional warmth and companionship she seeks. His allegiance rarely wavers, and he wears his role like a badge of honour.

3. The opportunist

This dude is in it purely for profit. He scans every moment for an angle, exploiting any opening for material gain. Once he’s secured his goals—perhaps a business, land, or school fees—he quietly exits, ready to start his ‘real’ life with someone his own age.

4. The carefree one

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The quintessential Ben 10 with no plan. The mumama funds his entire existence. Ask him about his long-term goals or plans to have a family, and he’ll shrug. If she wants to build a family house in her rural home, he’ll comply. For him, age is just a number.

5. The businessman

A master strategist. For him, this is an industry. He actively targets multiple wamamas, sourcing them from dating apps and social media. He’s fine-tuned the art of seduction to an exact science. His endgame? A plush bungalow in Kileleshwa—funded entirely by his romantic pursuits.

6. The specialist

He performs only the task for which he was ‘employed’—and it’s rarely something found in a job description. He spends most of his time in the gym or loitering around the compound. Yet everyone knows what his real job is—and it’s not mowing the lawn.

7. The financier

This is the tragic reversal. Unlike his peers, he is not with the mumama for money. In fact, he bankrolls the entire relationship. Whether love-struck or bewitched, he pays the bills, fuels the car, does shopping, and foots every imaginable expense—all from his own modest salary.

8. The slave

Another unfortunate case. His life revolves around servitude. He runs errands, washes dishes, tends the garden, and is on constant call for his mumama’s needs—both emotional and domestic. He’s a modern-day houseboy, albeit in branded trainers.

9. The actor / husband-for-hire

His presence is largely symbolic. He plays the role of husband—head of the household, man of the home. But in reality, everyone knows who wears the trousers. The mumama simply needs a man in the house to silence societal whispers. For that, she puts him on a retainer.

10. The lost boy seeking a mother

His interest isn’t romantic—it’s psychological. Perhaps he lacked a mother figure growing up, and now seeks nurturing and affirmation from cougars. He gravitates toward older women who mirror his mother’s age, craving affection, guidance, and a form of familial stability he never received.