What to know in your twenties

"When the student is ready, the teacher appears." Zen Proverb. I had been having a conversation with a friend when suddenly the issue of age came up. As I came to realize, no one ever prepares you for growing old. All of us do but few grow up. She had just turned twenty and her greatest excitement was that she no longer was a teenager.

Now that you are in your twenties, one of the things I would like you to know is that only God will forgive you. Life will not. It is in the twenties that most people complete their undergraduate courses, gain employment and move out eventually marrying or getting married.

I would like you to know that no one will plan your life for you. Draw up goals about your life and burn the midnight oil for them. Know what you want out of this life and pursue your dreams relentlessly. One thing you will sooner or later come to realize is that the easiest way out of anything is always giving up but life rewards only those who chose to stay and fight on. Those who were not torn apart by critics but instead let this spur them towards their goals. You will realize that it is not the critic who counts but as Theodore Roosevelt put it, that credit actually belongs to the man and woman who are in the arena; the man who knows great enthusiasms and great devotions and who spends time in a worthy cause.

Now that you are in your twenties I would like you to know that your heart is not a toy. Guard it selfishly. Do not let anyone play with your emotions and do not also take others’ for a ride. Relationships will come and I pray that they become fruitful. If they fail rise up and be glad that at least you loved. I pray you never lose yourself while trying to hold on to someone who doesn’t care about losing you. Make deeper friendships out of quality and not quantity. Reduce your circles if need be and do not tolerate drama in your life. As you will soon realize, you are the master of your fate and the captain of your soul.

I hope that God will grant you the wisdom to separate the boys from the men. Not every Tom, Dick and Harry longs for a soul to soul connection with you. I hope that you’ll learn to stop and evaluate your life once in a while; that you learn to listen to the inner voice when the madness of the world drowns you. I hope that you will also learn how to appreciate beauty in the unlikeliest of places.

Dearest friend, now that you are in your twenties, I hope you find a mentor and someone to mentor. I hope you learn the value on nurturing not only your younger siblings, if you have any, but also friends who are younger than you. May you find fulfilment in guiding them in areas of their lives where they seem confused or need your counsel.

Twenties is a time to forge your own identity unlike teenage where the group defined you. May you have the courage to always be yourself and not be bound by poisonous groups. Learn to walk away with your head held high and never compromising on your values. May you have patience when things are not working out and learn from every disappointment life throws your way.

May you appreciate every moment and person God brings your way. Teach if need be, but always be willing to learn even from the infants and may you always find pleasure in the simplicities of life